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38 EASTERN HORIZON | TEACHINGS

especially young ones, marry for At a public talk in Los Angeles, 1975 societal obligations; having a
very superficial reasons: “I like him; Question: Lama, what do you think baby is a big responsibility. So,
let’s get married; I like her, let’s get about marriage? for those who cannot control
married.” There’s not much thought their desire for sexual pleasure,
given to how they’re going to spend Lama: Marriage is good; because contraception is essential. Also,
their life together or much analysis of marriage, you and I exist on if you can prevent an unwanted
of each other’s personality. People Earth. Without marriage most pregnancy from occurring, you
are too influenced by external of us wouldn’t exist. I have some eliminate the possibility of having
appearance; true beauty lies within. Christian friends I like and respect to consider killing the fetus by
People’s faces and behavior are very much. Many Christian couples abortion. Buddhism explains that
constantly changing; you can’t rely have a good relationship because for a sentient being to come from
on them. they keep love of God in their the intermediate state into a human
heart. I’ve also heard they have the rebirth the mother’s womb should
Because we lack the knowledge attitude that sex is for reproduction, be healthy and unobstructed. In
wisdom to understand each other’s not for pleasure. I think that’s a very other words, the conditions should
inner, human qualities, we easily good idea. be perfect. If you interrupt the
disrespect our partner. When things conditions through contraception,
don’t work out as planned, when Question: What about it’s OK. It’s certainly better
our partner no longer appears contraception? than madness. This is my own
attractive, our marriage fails. That’s Lama: I’m not going to talk about observation; I hope it doesn’t upset
because it was built one hundred the Buddhist point of view; I’m anybody.
percent on ego; it was totally an going to talk about this monk’s
ego-based relationship. No wonder point of view. I have to be careful. Question: Well, Lama, what about
it didn’t work. However, my observation of the abortion?
Western world is that contraception
A marriage built on mutual is a very good thing because many Lama: For Buddhists, abortion is
understanding, good young people are not ready to have difficult. It’s a question of morality,
communication and sincere efforts children and when they do, instead or ethics. But still, it’s a relative
to help each other has a much of growing, they go crazy. I have question. Let’s say that you don’t
better chance of lasting. Mental students like this. They are young, have an abortion and that the
communication is much better than super-intelligent and well educated, next twenty years of your life are
physical. That is very important. but as soon as they have babies they miserable. And even more misery
Superficial relationships, those become unbelievably miserable. I’ve comes from that. Yet you think
based on mainly external factors, seen intelligent, worldly-wise girls nothing of killing fish and small
never last. suddenly become terrible, with no animals. Relatively, which is worse?
capability, no happiness, and no love Good and bad are relative; good
Let’s say a couple buys a new piece for their man; they hate everything. karma and bad karma are relative.
of furniture. The husband says, It’s incredible. If those girls hadn’t I’m not making any statement here;
“Put it here,” the wife says, “No, put had babies, over time, they could it’s just something for you to think
it there,” and a huge fight ensues. have become incredibly spiritually about. EH
Here, there, what difference does developed.
it make? It’s foolish and narrow- At a course on death and rebirth,
minded, but that’s how things go. Parenthood brings with it many London, 1981