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FACE TO FACE | EASTERN HORIZON 47

by it. She must have known that it was coming, she Of course, the answer to that question is partly
must have watched him wrestle with these questions because of the emphasis placed on renunciation, but
as he prepared himself to pull away. This is, at least, renunciation is not the only Buddhist story. There
the picture I developed in my book. Yasodhara is his is so much more to Buddhist storytelling than just
partner, but she is also his beloved. She understands renunciation. Buddhist stories also include romantic
him, she sees him wrestling with the question of love, community life, family. When we reduce Buddhism
suffering, but she paradoxically also hopes he will never to one simple attribute, we do the tradition a terrible
go. And when he does, he breaks her heart. injustice. Buddhism has so much more to offer than just
one version of one story.
When the Order of Nuns was established, did she
have any significant role in the monastic order after What do you find in Yasodhara that we can consider
she became ordained as one of the nuns? as a good role model for the modern woman today?

Unfortunately, Yasodhara does not take up much of a What I admire most about Yasodhara is her humanity.
role in the early bhikkhuni sangha. The sources do place The way I see her, she lives the full spectrum of human
her among the early Buddhist nuns, but little more emotions. She is engaged in her experiences, reflects on
is said. She does not have a poem in the Therigatha, them and reacts to them, loving her husband and her
although she does have verses in the Apadana, where son and adapting to her environment with all of herself.
she is described as having become an important teacher Yasodhara is no wallflower. She is not silent and demure.
in the community. The Apadana, is however, more of Indeed, according to some versions of their story together,
the exception than the rule. In most cases, her role as a she is the one to choose Siddhattha as a husband. She
nun is restrained. She has a much more prominent role pulls him into their relationship and gives him an
in the literature as the Bodhisatta’s wife. While he is a experience of worldly life – precisely the experience he
householder, Yasodhara is pivotal, but once they have needed before he could let it all go. And after he leaves
renounced, she takes a back seat in the story – probably her, she cries with all of her heart. She experiences life in
because it would have been too complicated to have all of its fullness and complexity. And tragedy.
the one who was once his wife take a leading role in a
community of renunciants. It would have seemed as And then, when the time is right, she finds a way to
though they were still operating publicly as husband free herself too. She represents the full spectrum of the
and wife. human experience and I love her for that. She does not
hide from any part of her potential. She lives it all.
In the Jatakas we read that Siddhartha and
Yasodhara had been together as husband and I understand you are writing to sequel to your first
wife for many lifetimes, and in their final birth book on Yasodhara. Could you share what would be
they were again married. Do you see this spiritual the focus or additional stories you will include in
companionship life after life as a form of a modern the book?
day romantic story?
I am finishing up my next book, and I am very excited
I certainly do! I think there is something wonderfully about it. In the next book, I pick up the story where
romantic about the two of them finding each other as Yasodhara and the Buddha left off – with the women
husband and wife for so many lifetimes. We don’t have leaving the palace together and walking towards the
anything nearly so romantic in the West, with couples Buddha to ask him for permission to join the order.
reaching across time to find each other this way. Indeed,
I have often wondered why Buddhism gets so little It is a complicated story for many reasons. I hope that I
credit where romance is concerned. do the story justice. EH