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MySpace page. I would sit and read her posts and feel

incredible guilt.

I remember lying in my bed one day and feeling a
dark, heavy, and furious presence hovering over me. I could
feel the intensity of its anger glaring at me. It seemed to be
staring right at me. It felt like it was on top of me as if its face

was right up against my face. It lingered for a while. I sensed
a lot of evil and became frightened, so I pulled my blankets
over my head and hoped it would go away.

There was no doubt that something very evil was in
my room. I thought back to how I had heard an inner scream

once telling me to get the heck out of John’s apartment one
night and wondered if it had anything to do with this
presence. I had never felt anything so intense, especially from

something that I could not see. I had a gut feeling that this
very presence had a lot to do with my attachment to John and

why I felt so controlled when contacting him. I felt like it
wasn’t really me contacting him. It had begun to feel like
something was trying to make me do it. I thought I was

possessed. That was the only explanation for this and for
everything else that was about to happen.

Meditating and abusing Adderall were making things
worse. My head began to feel heavy. I felt drugged even when
waking up sober. Plus, Adderall had never made me feel like

that. I did not understand what was happening, but I was

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