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so that I could look young, be powerful, and live forever. I

remember reading one of Rice's books Memnoch the Devil
that made it appear as though Satan was the “cool one” and
God was the “bad guy.” However, with all the metaphysical
books I had been reading, I was starting to believe that God
was the “cool one” who wanted me to have everything that I

wanted and desired without any boundaries. So, I drank my
coffee, contacted my prospects some mornings, earned
enough money to barely get by, and began meditating a few
hours a night by visualizing my dreams.

I began meditating on material objects like a house,
boat, or car. I was trying to desire these things because I

didn’t know what else would make me happy, other than my
children having “stuff,” as well. What else was there to fill
that void? Nothing else was filling it. I thought all these
things would make me and my children happy. Also, I

thought that God was with me and that was good enough for
me. I was optimistic about my future because I had faith in
myself!

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