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When I woke up the next morning, I walked over to

my purse to get my Adderall, like every morning, but I had
no desire to take it. I was holding it in my hand seeing the
contents of the bottle as if it were a piece of worthless trash.
I felt very awake. I felt good, which was strange. I threw away
the full bottle.

Later, while at work, I could hear the Holy Spirit filling
my mind with truths letting me know that I was not worthless
and that I am loved. I was crying soft tears of joy with the

good news that I wasn’t worthless. It felt like rubber bands of
bondage were breaking apart and a flood of love, self-worth,
and completeness filled me up. I felt whole for the first time.

I felt free! I could feel the Holy Spirit inside of me! The Holy
Spirit led me to confess many sins later when I got home. He
gave me godly sorrow for my sins. Not condemnation but a

genuine sorrow for the first time for sinning against God.
After I confessed, I knew that God wanted me to forgive

myself. His forgiveness is enough. His suffering for my sins
16
and dying on the cross was sufficient. The Greek New

16 Much later I learned that the Latin Vulgate was translated from the
Greek New Testament manuscripts. As noted in The KJV New
Testament Greek Lexicon, the Greek manuscripts use the words
metanoeō (G3340), and metanoia (G3341), which both mean repent or
repentance.
https://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/greek/kjv/metanoeo.html
However, the Latin Vulgate uses a word that describes penance. When
I was Catholic, I had been taught to recite prayers as a form of
punishment to atone for my sins. On the cross, Jesus Christ said, “It is
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