Page 168 - It Ends with Us

The next thi ng he sai d made hi s blue eyes tear up until the y looked clear. He

sai d, “Lily. Li fe is a funny thi ng. We only get so man y year s to live it, so we
hav e to do ever ythi ng we can to mak e sure tho se year s are as full as the y can be.
We sho uldn ’t was te time on thi ngs that might hap pen someday, or may be even
never.”
I knew what he was say ing. That he was leav ing for the militar y an d he
di dn ’t wan t me to ho ld on to hi m whi le he was gone. He was n’t real ly break ing

up with me because we weren’t ever real ly togethe r. We’d just been two people
who he lped eac h othe r whe n we neede d it an d got our he ar ts fused togethe r
al ong the way.
It was har d, being let go by someone who had never real ly grab bed ho ld of
me completely in the first plac e. In al l the time we’ve spent togethe r, I thi nk we
both sor t of knew thi s was n’t a forever thi ng. I’m not sure why, becau se I could
eas ily love hi m that way. I thi nk may be unde r normal circumstan ces, if we were

togethe r like typical teenag ers an d he had an av erag e life with a ho me, we could
be that kind of couple. The kind who comes togethe r so eas ily an d never
experiences a life whe re cruelty sometimes intercepts.
I di dn ’t even tr y to get hi m to cha nge hi s mind that night . I feel like we hav e
the kind of connection that even the fires of he ll couldn ’t sever. I feel like he
could go spend hi s time in the militar y an d I’ll spend my year s being a teenag er

an d the n it will al l fal l bac k into plac e whe n the timing is right .
“I’m going to mak e a promise to you,” he sai d. “Whe n my life is good
enough for you to be a par t of it, I’ll come find you. Bu t I do n’t wan t you to
wai t around for me, becau se that might never hap pen.”
I didn ’t like that promise, becau se it mean t one of two thi ngs. Eithe r he
tho ught he might never mak e it out of the militar y al ive, or he di dn ’t thi nk hi s
life would ever be good enough for me.

His life was al ready good enough for me, but I nodde d my he ad an d forced
a smile. “If you do n’t come bac k for me, I’ll come for you. And it won’t be
pretty, Atlas Cor rigan .”
He lau ghe d at my threat . “Well, it won’t be too har d to find me. You know
exac tly whe re I’ll be.”
I smiled. “Whe re ever ythi ng is better.”

He smiled bac k. “In Bo ston.”
And the n he kissed me.
Ellen, I know you’re an adu lt an d know al l ab out what comes next, but I
still do n’t feel comfor tab le telling you what hap pened over tho se next couple of