Page 252 - It Ends with Us

wishes I would ha ve nev er met hi m. Part of me wishes I could forgive

hi m.
He unw raps hi s arms from around my waist and pres ses a ha nd
int o the mattres s nex t to us. He pulls hi msel f up and then sits on the
bed . His el bows res t on hi s knees and hi s ha nd s are drawn up to hi s
mouth.
I sit nex t to hi m, kno wing we ha ve to ha ve thi s conv ers ation, but

no t want ing to. “Naked truths ?”
He no ds.
I don’t kno w whi ch one of us is supposed to go firs t. I don’t rea lly
ha ve much to say to hi m at thi s point , so I wait for hi m to spea k firs t.
“I don’t ev en kno w where to start, Lily.” He rubs hi s ha nd s down
hi s face.
“How about you start with, ‘I’m sor r y I at tac ked you.’ ”

His ey es meet mine, wide with cert aint y. “Lily, you ha ve no idea . I
am so sorry. You ha ve no idea wha t I’ve been thro ugh thes e past two
mont hs kno wing wha t I’ve done to you.”
I clenc h my tee th toget her. I can feel my fing ers as they fis t around
the blank et bes ide me.
I ha ve no idea wha t he ’s been thro ugh?

I sha ke my hea d, slowly. “You ha ve no idea , R yle. ”
I stand up, the ang er and ha tred spilling out of me. I spin, point ing
at hi m. “You ha ve no idea! You ha ve no idea wha t it’s like to go
thro ugh wha t you’ve put me thro ugh! To fea r for your life at the
ha nd s of the man you love? To get phy sically sick just thi nk ing about
wha t he ’s done to you? You have no idea , R yle! No ne! Fuck you! Fuck
you for doing thi s to me! ”

I suck in a hug e brea th, sho cked at mysel f. The ang er just came
like a wave. I swipe at my tea rs and spin around , una ble to look at
hi m.
“Lily,” he says. “I don’t . . .”
“No!” I yel l, spinni ng around again. “I am no t fini shed ! You don’t
get to say your truth unt il I’ve said mine! ”

He’s grabbing at hi s jaw, squeez ing the stres s out of it. He drops hi s
ey es to the floor, una ble to look at the rage in mine. I take three step s
toward hi m and drop to my knees . I place my ha nd s on hi s leg s,
forcing hi m to look me straight in the ey es whi le I spea k to hi m.