Page 273 - It Ends with Us

I don’t kno w how I’m supposed to last unt il my due date when I

can’t ev en get out of a cha ir witho ut grunt ing .
Onc e I’m stand ing , he does n’t immed iatel y rel ea se my ha nd . We’re
just a few inc hes apart, and I kno w if I look up at hi m I’ll feel thi ng s. I
don’t want to feel thi ng s for him.
He find s my other ha nd unt il he’s ho lding both of them down at
my sides. He threa ds hi s fing ers thro ugh mine and I feel it all the way

to my hea rt. I pres s my forehea d agains t hi s ches t and close my ey es .
His cheek meet s the top of my hea d and we stand complet el y still,
both of us too scared to move. I’m scared to move bec ause I might be
too wea k to stop hi m from kissing me. He’s scared to move bec ause
he’s afraid if he does , I’ll pull away.
For wha t feel s like fiv e full minutes , nei ther of us moves a muscle.
“R yle, ” I fina lly say. “Can you promise me somet hi ng ?”

I feel hi m no d.
“Unt il thi s baby comes , plea se don’t try to talk me int o forgiving
you. And pleas e don’t try to kiss me . . .” I pull away from hi s ches t and
look up at hi m. “I want to tackle one hu ge thi ng at a time, and right
no w my onl y priority is ha ving thi s baby. I don’t want to add any more
stres s or conf usion on top of ev er ythi ng tha t’s alrea dy ha ppeni ng .”

He squeez es both of my ha nd s rea ssuring ly. “One monu ment al life-
cha ng ing thi ng at a time. Got it.”
I smile, rel iev ed tha t we’v e fina lly ha d thi s conv ers ation. I kno w I
didn’t make a fina l dec ision about the two of us, but I still feel like I
can brea the ea sier no w tha t we’re on the same page.
He rel ea ses my ha nd s. “I’m late for my shi ft,” he says, tossing a
thu mb over hi s sho ulder. “I sho uld get to work.”

I no d and see hi m out. It isn’t unt il after I’ve shu t the door and am
alone in my apartment tha t I rea lize I ha ve a smile on my face.
I’m still inc red ibly ang ry with hi m tha t we’re ev en in thi s
pred icament to beg in with, so my smile is simply due to making a
little hea dway. Somet imes parent s ha ve to work thro ugh thei r
differenc es and bring a lev el of maturity int o a situation in order to

do wha t’s bes t for thei r chi ld.
Tha t’s exactly wha t we’re doing . Lea rni ng ho w to na vigate our
situation bef ore our chi ld is brought int o the fold.