Page 270 - It Ends with Us

times .”

He glanc es over hi s sho ulder and I can see the conc ern in hi s
ex pres sion. He’s worri ed tha t I was here doing it all on my own. He
sho uldn’t worr y. I’ve got thi s.
When we make it to the nu rser y, he stops in the door way. On the
opposite wall, I paint ed a garden. It’s complet e with almost ev er y fruit
and veg et able I could thi nk of tha t grows in a garden. I’m no t a

paint er, but it’s amazing wha t you can do with a projec tor and
trans parent paper.
“Wow,” R yle says.
I grin, bec ause I rec ogni ze the surprise in hi s voice and I kno w it’s
genu ine. He walks int o the room and looks around , sha king hi s hea d
the who le time. “Lily. It’s . . . wow.”
If he were Allysa, I’d clap and jump up and down. But he’s R yle

and with the way thi ng s ha ve been bet ween us, tha t would be a little
awkward.
He walks over to the wind ow where I set up a swing . He gives it a
little push and it beg ins moving from side to side.
“It also moves front to back,” I tel l hi m. I don’t kno w if he ev en
kno ws any thi ng about baby swing s, but I was pret ty impres sed by tha t

fea ture.
He walks over to the cha ng ing table and pulls one of the diapers
out of the ho lder. He unf olds it and ho lds it up in front of hi m. “It’s
so tiny,” he says. “I don’t reme mber R ylee bei ng thi s tiny.”
Hea ring hi m ment ion R ylee makes me a little sad. We’v e been
living apart since the ni ght she was born, so I’ve nev er been able to
see hi m int era ct with her.

R yle folds up the diaper and puts it back in the ho lder. When he
turns to face me, he smiles , lifting hi s ha nd s to motion around the
room. “It’s rea lly grea t, Lily,” he says. “All of it. You’re rea lly doing . . .”
His ha nd s drop to hi s hi ps and hi s smile falters . “You’re doing rea lly
wel l.”
A thi cknes s seems to form in the air around me. It’s suddenl y

diffic ult to take in a full brea th bec ause for wha tev er rea son, I feel like
I need to cry. I just rea lly like thi s moment and it saddens me tha t we
couldn’t spend the ent ire preg na nc y full of moment s like thes e. It