Page 265 - It Ends with Us

the trash bag I’m ho lding and he takes it from my ha nd s. “Let me get

thi s.”
I let hi m. He takes tha t bag and ano ther one down to the
apartment whi le I gather my thi ng s. He and Marsha ll are walking
back ins ide the apartment as I’m prep aring to walk out.
R yle grabs the last bag of stuff and beg ins to hea d toward the front
door again. I’m following behi nd hi m when Marsha ll gives me a silent

look, asking me if I’m okay with R yle going downs tairs with me. I no d.
I can’t keep avoiding R yle forev er, so no w is as good a time as any to
discuss where we go from here .
It’s onl y a few floors bet ween thei r apartment and mine, but the
el ev ator ride down with R yle feel s like the long es t it’s ev er taken. I
catch hi m staring at my stomach a couple of times and it makes me
wond er ho w it must feel , going three mont hs witho ut seei ng me

preg na nt .
My apartment door is unl ocked , so I push it open and he follows
me ins ide. He takes the last of the stuff to the nu rser y and I can hea r
hi m moving thi ng s around , openi ng boxes . I stay in the kitchen and
clea n thing s that don’t ev en need clea ni ng . My hea rt is in my thro at,
kno wing he’s in my apartment . I don’t feel scared of hi m in thi s

moment . I just feel ner vous. I want ed to be more prep ared for thi s
conv ers ation bec ause I absolutel y ha te conf ront ation. But I kno w we
need to discuss the baby and our future. I just don’t want to. Not yet ,
any way.
He walks down the ha llway and int o the kitchen. I catch hi m
looking at my stomach again. He glanc es away just as quickly. “Do you
want me to assem ble the crib whi le I’m here?”

I sho uld probably say no , but he’s ha lf res pons ible for the chi ld
growing ins ide of me. If he’s going to offer phy sical labor I’m going to
take it, no matter ho w ang ry I still am at hi m. “Yea h. Tha t would be a
big hel p.”
He point s toward the laund ry room. “Is my toolbox still in there?”
I no d and he hea ds toward the laund ry room. I open the

ref rigera tor and face it so I don’t ha ve to watch hi m walk back
thro ugh the kitchen. When he’s fina lly in the nu rser y again, I close
the ref rigera tor and pres s my forehea d agains t it as I grip the ha nd le.