Page 262 - It Ends with Us

I wipe the na pkin benea th my ey e, soaking up more tea rs.

“Somet imes . . . when I’m rea lly missing hi m . . . I tel l mysel f tha t
maybe it wasn’t tha t bad. Maybe I could put up with hi m when he’s at
hi s worst just so I can ha ve hi m when he’s at hi s bes t.”
She puts her ha nd on top of mine and rubs her thu mb back and
forth. “I kno w ex actly wha t you mea n, Lily. But the last thi ng you want
to do is lose sight of your limit. Plea se don’t allow tha t to ha ppen. ”

I ha ve no idea wha t she mea ns by tha t. She sees the conf usion in
my ex pres sion, so she squeez es my arm and ex plains in more det ail.
“We all ha ve a limit. Wha t we’re willing to put up with bef ore we
brea k. When I marri ed your father, I knew ex actly wha t my limit was.
But slowly . . . with ev er y inc ident . . . my limit was pushed a little
more. And a little more. The firs t time your father hi t me, he was
immed iatel y sorr y. He swore it would nev er ha ppen again. The sec ond

time he hi t me, he was ev en more sorr y. The thi rd time it ha ppened , it
was more tha n a hi t. It was a bea ting . And ev er y sing le time, I took
hi m back. But the fourth time, it was onl y a slap. And when tha t
ha ppened , I fel t rel iev ed . I remem ber thi nk ing , ‘At leas t he di dn ’t beat
me thi s time. Thi s was n’t so bad. ’ ”
She bring s the na pkin up to her ey es and says, “Ever y inc ident

chi ps away at your limit. Ever y time you cho ose to stay, it makes the
nex t time tha t much ha rder to lea ve. Event ually, you lose sight of your
limit altoget her, bec ause you start to thi nk , ‘I’ve las ted five year s now.
What ’s five more?’ ”
She grabs my ha nd s and ho lds them whi le I cry. “Don’t be like me,
Lily. I kno w that you bel iev e he loves you, and I’m sure he does . But
he’s not loving you the right way. He does n’t love you the way you

des er ve to be loved . If R yle truly loves you, he wouldn’t allow you to
take hi m back. He would make the dec ision to lea ve you hi msel f so
tha t he kno ws for a fact he can nev er hu rt you again. Tha t’s the kind
of love a woman des er ves , Lily.”
I wish with all my hea rt tha t she didn’t lea rn thes e thi ng s from
ex peri enc e. I pull her to me and hu g her.

For wha tev er rea son, I tho ught I would ha ve to def end mysel f to
her when I came over here. Not onc e did I thi nk I would come over
here and lea rn from her. I sho uld kno w bet ter. I tho ught my mother