Page 87 - You Only Live Once [BooksLD]

Canacona Island is not inhabited by humans. The woods at dawn seem so
dark, and there is ultimate silence, miles away from all the commotion. We
start to wander along a solitary path, only to encounter an abandoned boat.

A perfect place isn’t a myth. You will always find it in the middle of
nowhere.
She stops by the end of the island, I stand beside her. There’s nothing to
be seen except for the horizon that separates the sea from the sky.

It is one of those moments in which you feel bliss in simply existing,
looking at the sky through the net-like canopy of trees. Sky is hope. Sky is
possibilities. Sky is perspective. You only see it as far as it is visible, but
that does not mean that there is nothing beyond. Sailing on ships, I would

often do that. Youngsters hooked to mobile phones will never know the
pleasure.
‘Why is it so hard to fall out of love?’ I ask her, hopelessly. She never
asked me to stay. I never told her I would leave. Words left unsaid are the
hardest to live with. But today is a chance to talk about it.

‘ Loving someone is a decision that we make. You can choose to love
someone else.’

‘You don’t choose to fall in love with someone, neither do you choose to
fall out of it. If it was as simple as taking a decision, are all these statements
like ‘I fell in love’, ‘it was love at first sight’, ‘I could not help but fall in
love’, ‘love just happens’ bullshit? Void?’

‘We can try. Sometimes, that’s all we can do,’ she says as she holds my
hand and continues, ‘Why didn’t you ever say it?’
I feel a spark of lightning travel down my body. If I had said I love you,

my life would have become much easier, my sufferings might have
mitigated and I would have achieved my ultimate destiny which lies in your
arms, away from tears, but I feared that the magic which prevails in the air
marking your presence and which energizes my senses would also be lost.
The sound of silence strikes a chord deep down under, where neither the
tears of rain reach nor the thunder.

‘I never wanted to lose you!’
‘I left you,’ she says with equal parts sorrow and regret.

This whole concept of time is so messed up. The moment when you meet
someone determines everything. She might never have felt this when we