Page 31 - November 2021 Issue.indd

“Republican Candidate for Caroline County Sheriff with over 25 years of public service.”

Two Time Investigator of the Year • Officer of the Year
FBI-LEEDA Certified Internal Affairs Investigator
Steve

Elect
Stouffer

SHERIFF

Facebook (Steve Stouffer for Sheriff) • www.stouffer4sheriff.com
Authority: Citizens for Steve Stouffer, Keli Jones,Treasurer

more he realized he was drawn there by “These are forever stamps,” said the clerk. Nissan, with a collection of bugs splat-

the same mentality that had sent him tered across the grille. For that matter,
criss-crossing the country in the first Colt, confident to know his postage the person driving it was just as indis-

place. There was no way that those nine would survive a nuclear holocaust, paid tinguishable in a crowd: the woman with
counties could compete with the rest of for them and turned to leave. On his way mousy brown hair and an equally bland
the state of Maryland or with the city in out, he noticed a corkboard on the wall outfit walked a letter to the exterior blue

general. There weren’t enough people, and decided to peruse the advertise- box and quickly drove off as if it was

not enough revenue, not enough jobs ments. Maybe there was a local festival, a hassle to peel herself away from her
to keep the best and brightest there. Yet a new restaurant, anything really that collection of digital devices and actually
people did stay and the local commu- might keep him out of the car and on have to participate in the analog world.
nities remained remarkably the same. the Shore the least bit longer. Nothing of Colt assumed she was not local but for
Colt could discern no acute change in note, he thought to himself. A beagle was a moment speculated where she might
any of the Delmarva towns each time missing. Someone was offering small be headed. It was a bumper sticker on
he crossed a bridge to get there every engine repair. A community yard sale her car that had attracted his attention:
couple years. He chuckled once at refut- with a rain date was scheduled. A weight
ing Heraclitus vis-à-vis rivers; the same loss elixir promotion. Baby shoes (never SO DISTRAUGHT I’M SEEING CRIM-
held true for these tidewater towns. Colt worn) for sale. A firehouse spaghetti SON
observed how the geography of the East- dinner that happened two years ago. Colt had reservations about putting
ern Shore allowed those fourteen coun- And then he saw it. one on his own car. He enjoyed pithy
ties to exist physically separate of the phrases and bad puns as much as the

outside world, how the residents of Dela- There was clearly little on the bulletin next person, but could never pick just
ware and those select parts of Virginia board that interested him, but out of the the right one for himself. He would settle
and Maryland could willingly isolate corner of his eye Colt noticed another for only the best line ever – the funniest,
themselves and be quite content with vehicle pull into the post office park- the most politically poignant, the most
that isolation. If it could not be done on ing lot. There was nothing out of the fitting for him personally – but as of yet

Delmarva, it was not worth doing. ordinary about the car. It was gray, a had not chosen or found it. He kept three
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