Page 87 - Essentials of Human Communication

66 Chapter 3 Listening in Human Communication

Their focus is on reporting information. Tannen argues that in conversa-
tion a woman seeks to be liked, so she expresses agreement. The goal of a
man, on the other hand, is to be given respect, so he seeks to show his
knowledge and expertise.

Listening cues Men and women give different types of listening cues
and, consequently, show that they’re listening in different ways. In conver-
sation, a woman is more apt to give lots of listening cues—interjecting
“Yeah” or “Uh-huh,” nodding in agreement, and smiling. A man is more
likely to listen quietly, without giving lots of listening cues as feedback.
Women also make more eye contact when listening than do men, who are
more apt to look around and often away from the speaker (Brownell, 2010).
As a result of these differences, women seem to be more engaged in listen-
ing than do men.

Amount and Purposes of Listening Tannen (1990, 1994a) argues
that men listen less to women than women listen to men. The reason, says
Tannen, is that listening places the person in an inferior position, but
speaking places the person in a superior position. Men may seem to assume
a more confrontational posture while listening and to ask questions that are
argumentative or seek to puncture holes in the speaker’s position as a way
to play up their own expertise. Women are more likely than men to ask
supportive questions and offer constructive criticism. Men and women act
this way both to members of the same and of the opposite sex; their usual
ViewPOintS ways of speaking and listening don’t seem to change depending on whether
gender and Listening differences the person they’re communicating with is male or female.
The popular belief is that men listen in the way they do It’s important to note that not all researchers agree that there is suffi-
to prove themselves superior and that women listen as cient evidence to support the claims of Tannen and others about gender dif-
they do to ingratiate themselves. Although there is no ferences (Goldsmith & Fulfs, 1999). Gender differences are changing drasti-
evidence to show that these images are valid, they cally and quickly; it’s best to take generalizations about gender as starting
persist in the assumptions that people make about the points for investigation and not as airtight conclusions (Gamble & Gamble,
opposite sex. What do you believe accounts for the 2003). Further, be mindful that, as you no doubt have observed from your
differences in the way men and women listen?
own experiences, gender differences—although significant—are far out-
numbered by similarities.

Objectives Self-check
● Can you explain the major cultural and gender differences in listening?
● Can you take these into consideration in our own listening to make it more effective?

Messages in the Media Wrap Up

Choose a representative sampling of talk show hosts to observe—whether Jerry Springer, Jay Leno, or Wendy
Williams—and focus on their listening behaviors. Does the host listen with empathy and demonstrate active
listening? You’ll probably be able to see the strategies of effective listening and the pitfalls of ineffective
listening in action.