Page 99 - Essentials of Human Communication

78 Chapter 4 Verbal Messages

Communication Cultural differences often can create misunderstandings. For example, a person
Choice point from a culture that values an indirect style of speech may be speaking indirectly to be
Cultural Maxims polite. If, however, you’re from a culture that values a more direct style of speech,
In introducing yourself to you may assume that the person is using indirectness to be manipulative, which may
your class, you mention your high grades, be how your culture regards indirectness.
success in sports, and plans to transfer to
Harvard. The students following you, how- Gender Influences Verbal messages reflect considerable gender influences also.
ever, all appear very modest. You quickly For example, studies from various different cultures show that women’s speech is
realize that you misunderstood the culture more polite than men’s speech, even on the telephone (Brown, 1980; Wetzel, 1988;
of this classroom. What are some things you Holmes, 1995; Smoreda & Licoppe, 2000). Women seek areas of agreement in con-
can say to counteract the snob image you versation and in conflict situations more often than men do. Similarly, young girls
inadvertently communicated?
are more apt to try to modify expressions of disagreement, whereas young boys are
apt to express more “bald disagreements” (Holmes, 1995). Women also use more
polite speech when seeking to gain another person’s compliance than men do
(Baxter, 1984).

Objectives Self-Check
● This section focused on the eight basic principles of verbal messages: (1) meanings are in people,
(2) messages are denotative and connotative, (3) messages vary in abstraction, (4) messages
can deceive, (5) messages vary in politeness, (6) messages can be onymous or anonymous,
For a brief discussion of some gen- (7) messages vary in assertiveness, and (8) messages are influenced by culture and gender.
der differences, see “Gender Differ-
ences” at tcbdevito.blogspot ● Can you paraphrase and then apply the skills component of these principles? For example, can
.com. What gender differences do you vary your level of abstraction to communicate your meanings more precisely?
you observe? ● Can you act assertively in the proper circumstances?

Disconfirmation and Confirmation

Explore the Exercise The terms confirmation and disconfirmation refer to the extent to which you acknowledge
“Recognizing Gender Differences” another person. Consider this situation. You’ve been living with someone for the last six
at MyCommunicationLab
months and you arrive home late one night. Your partner, let’s say Pat, is angry and
complains about your being so late. Which of the following is most likely to be your
response?
1. Stop screaming. I’m not interested in what you’re babbling about. I’ll do what I want,
when I want. I’m going to bed.
2. What are you so angry about? Didn’t you get in three hours late last Thursday when you
went to that office party? So knock it off.
3. I don’t blame you for being angry. I should have called to tell you I was going to be late,
but I got involved in an argument at work, and I couldn’t leave until it was resolved.
In response 1, you dismiss Pat’s anger and even indicate dismissal of Pat as a person. In
response 2, you reject the validity of Pat’s reasons for being angry but do not dismiss
Communication either Pat’s feelings of anger or Pat as a person. In response 3, you acknowledge Pat’s
Choice point anger and the reasons for it. In addition, you provide some kind of explanation and,
Discouraging in doing so, show that both Pat’s feelings and Pat as a person are important and that
Disconfirmation Pat has the right to know what happened. The first response is an example of discon-
For the last several months firmation, the second of rejection, and the third of confirmation.
you’ve noticed how disconfirming your Disconfirmation is a communication pattern in which we ignore someone’s
neighbors are toward their preteen children; presence as well as that person’s communications. We say, in effect, that this person
it seems the children can never do anything and what this person has to say are not worth serious attention or effort. The Amish
to the parents’ satisfaction. What are some of community practices an extreme form of disconfirmation called “shunning,” in
the things you might say (if you do decide to get which the community members totally ignore a person who has violated one or more
involved) to make your neighbors more aware of of their rules. The specific aim of shunning is to get the person to repent and to reen-
their communication patterns and the possible ter the community of the faithful. All cultures practice some form of exclusion for
negative effects these patterns might have?
those who violate important cultural rules.