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10 • NOVEMBER 2020 - Senior Voice of Hernando County
POLICE BLOTTER

A collection of dumb moves by boneheads in Florida

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Police Blotter
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October, 2020
Residential Burglary with
Battery – District 2/Zone
7 – A woman reported her
ex-boyfriend knocked on her
bedroom window. The woman
said the man climbed through
her window. She indicated
he sat in a chair and talked to
her for two hours. During that
time, the woman said he tried
to rub and kiss her. She indi-
cated he refused to leave. The
woman called to her family
members who called law en-
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1 o
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n a
forcement – Note: This is why Woman calls 911 on alligator,
the man is an ex. Wonder how It turned out to be a pool floatie
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many ex’s he has.
October 2020 When is an alligator not an Run apartment complex in “He came…he saw…he
alligator? Winter Haven at around 2 conquered the beast. He even
Loitering and Prowling – p.m. on Aug. 22. knocked the wind out of it,”
District 1/Zone 9 – A local When it’s a pool floatie. the agency said in the post.
business owner contacted the That’s what one Florida A resident told dispatchers “Literally.”
Sheriff’s Office in reference that her husband went to
to two individuals who were deputy recently found out, their storage unit to get A picture shows the deputy
observed on camera entering a according to the Polk County posing with the realistic
fire escape, which had access Sheriff’s Office. some boxes, saw the gator, looking green inflatable,
to the business’s roof. Two in- and asked her to call the complete with teeth and
dividuals were located on the The agency said Master cops, according to the police
rooftop. They indicated they Deputy Mark Trexler report. scales, which one astute
came to the roof to have sex. responded to a call about an commenter pointed out more
A gram of methamphetamine alligator hanging out where Upon further review, Trexler resembles a crocodile thanks
and three Xanax pills were it shouldn’t be: in a storage realized that the subject to the V-shaped snout.
also located on the roof. Own- shed.
ership could not immediately of the call was a lot less We’re not going to gnaw
be determined – Note: This A sheriff’s spokeswoman dangerous —unless you’re on this pesky issue, as the
was no Fiddler on a roof. said that the emergency call afraid of alligator-shaped thing in the shed is not
came in from the Mahogany pool floats. actually alive.
Henny Y
Henny Youngman Jokes
es
oungman Jok
• Getting on a plane, I told the ticket drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started.”
lady, “Send one of my bags to New
York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to • My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Miami.” She said, “We can’t do that!” I told her, • The first five days after the weekend are always
“You did it last week!” the hardest.
• A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says • I bet on a horse at ten-to-one; it didn’t come in
“You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The until half-past five.