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14 • NOVEMBER 2020 - Senior Voice of Hernando County
14 • NOVEMBER 2020 - Senior Voice of Hernando County
Coping with Dementia
Let’s Not Scare Our Care Partners!
By Debbie them will die before their
Selsavage
Providing
care for a
loved one
living with
dementia is
one of the
most exhausting care partner National Institute of Health
tasks there is, because the
disease is progressive and
ultimately requires attention examined mortality among
24/7.
To drive this message home,
speakers about Alzheimer’s
and dementia, including
acknowledged experts, often
assert that 70 percent of
family care providers will
die before their loved one
with dementia!
I cannot count the times I
have heard this claim, in
both lectures and casual
conversation among people
who are trained in this field.
It is an apocryphal story
that has become deeply
woven into the folklore of
dementia, but it is simply
not true!
Surely, when the experts
report this grim but
erroneous statistic, they
intend to encourage care
partners to be more mindful
to take care of themselves;
to care for their own health
as much as that of their
loved one. But I fear the
result may be the opposite.
To tell a group of care
partners that 70 percent of
person with dementia likely
only demoralizes them and
fills them with even more
despair about the grim road
ahead, thus pushing their
stress levels even higher.
A 2018 study reported by the first and leave their loved
concluded, “Although a
handful of studies have
caregivers of persons with
Alzheimer’s disease or
a related dementia, the
proportion of caregivers who
die before their cognitively
impaired care recipients
remains unknown.”
In these previous studies,
the database was either too Bayfront Health
small or the conditions to
uncontrolled to make the
results reliable, and none
supported the 70 percent
claim for caregiver mortality
that is so casually thrown
around in conversation.
To the contrary, the 2018
NIH study, which is rigorous
and based on 17 years of
data, found that 18 percent
of care partners die before
the loved one they are caring
for. This means that more
than 80 percent of care
partners survive their loved
one with dementia, which
is quite the opposite from
the belief that 70 percent
of caregivers die first! The
referenced study can be
found at https://www.ncbi.
Health Connections
nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/ one can find in a support
PMC6292823/. group. Positive motivation
is always better than trying
So, I appeal to all in the to frighten someone into
medical industry and care taking action.
community to stop telling
care partners that they are Debbie Selsavage is a
70 percent more likely to die Certified Trainer and
Consultant in the Positive
one with dementia behind Approach to Care, and
and alone. Their task is a Certified Dementia
stressful enough, and they Practitioner. Her company,
don’t need to be frightened Coping with Dementia LLC,
with unfounded warnings of is dedicated to making life
impending doom. better for individuals living
with dementia. Contact
We want to encourage Debbie at deb@coping.today
care partners to seek and to learn about free support
welcome help, such as the groups on line.
advice and companionship
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