Page 14 - Kingdom News Edition 5 Online

ohnathan Donnell was born October 7, say this because some child is dealing with the re-
2002. He was an 8lbs. 7oz healthy baby boy. jections of life. Someone is dealing with a hurting
Never would I have imagined that I would heart of family rejection, family issues. Someone is
lose
J my baby boy or any of my children at dealing with a hurting heart of loving others more
such a young age. Johnathan Donnell aka DonDon than loving themselves. Someone is dealing with a
died July 5, 2017 @ 11:56pm to a gunshot wound hurting heart of losing a loved one, as DonDon
to the head. He died dealing with the heartaches did. I’ve never had to encounter a suicide death un-
and pains of this world. He may have even died til now, but I have encountered the tries of suicide
thinking I didn’t love him. He may have even died as well as the thoughts of suicide.
thinking he was doing me a favor. Truth is, I am
hurting more now than I have ever hurt in my life- A few things DonDon said that stuck with me today
time, but God!!! As I reflect on my baby early and one of them being, “Blood make you kin, but it
years, he was such a special child. I remember don’t make you family”. When I asked him why
when DonDon first met my girls father, which is would he say that, he just walked away. After his
now my husband, he was three years old; he point- death, I then understood what he meant. When I
ed and said you dada. My husband told him, no think about DonDon, I think about a child that
your dada at home. DonDon pointed again and in- couldn’t handle the pressures of life. I think about a
sisted that my husband was his dada. A few child whose deepest fear at one point was to not
months later DonDon lost his father and my hus- lose his life, but was pressed to take his life.

band became his dada. It’s not easy to sit here and write this article, be-
cause I think what could I have done better? I think
DonDon had a heart that was loveable. He loved
everyone and loved them hard. He was about fami- about how many others are carrying a hurting heart
ly with both sides, mother and father. When his that will soon explode? It’s important to look at the
dad died, I remember him standing next to the cas- bigger picture. The Lord allowed this to happen to
ket saying bye bye dada. He was standing right my son to save someone else’s son or teen, maybe
there by his daddy side when I found his father even an adult. If this had happened to a kid that was
dead. His dad always said DonDon was going to disrespectful or disobedient, maybe no one would
be by his side until the day he dies and he did. At have cared. Since this happened to a kid that was
eight years old DonDon realized his daddy wasn’t respectful and obedient, we all are now evaluating
coming back. At fourteen he started to encounter how we can help stop this madness. How can we be
what doctors called hallucinations and panic at- nicer or pay close attention to our youth?
tacks. He was rushed to the hospital and during the
time I had to revive him numerous of times. March A hurting heart is like a heart under attack, it could
29, 2017, he was begging me to not let him die to stop at any moment, but we must be able to recog-
July 5, 2017 taking his own life. He asked me one nize the signs of hurt and learn how to revive the
day did I think his daddy was trying to come and hurting heart.
get him? I was not sure how to answer that ques-
tion, but I told him maybe he is watching over you.

With a hurting heart, he reached out to those he
thought could help him, but they didn’t respond the
way they should have. I can’t say that is what
pushed him to the point of suicide, but I can say it
didn’t help. My son died so that we may live. I

14 ~ Kingdom Magazine
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