Page 80 - DINQ MAGAZINE OCTOBER 2020 EDITION

Kids/Parents Corner

By: B O B B Y C O O L E Y

Being from the south, I was raised to say “yes, sir” and “no, sir.” It 2. Throwing Fits
wasn’t until recently that I discovered that not every family teach-
es this to their kids. This is a rule in our home and we make sure We all know adults who throw fits to get what they want. And we
our kids respond appropriately and respectfully. Different families don’t want our kids to become them. So setting clear boundaries
have different rules founded on what we think is best for our kids. around fits for your kids will help them better control their emo-
tions and reactions. We have a
rule in our house that our kids
Regardless of what rules you
repeat to us: “We do not throw
have in your home, we have
fits to get what we want.” They
found it successful to let our
participate in this rule every time
kids participate in developing
a fit is thrown. They know that
discipline rules. Allowing kids
whatever they are wanting is im-
to participate in setting bounda-
mediately off the table and that
ries and consequences gives
they are free to continue to throw
them accountability and owner- a fit as much as they want sitting
ship of the rules. In order to let on their beds. Having them par-
them participate, sit down and ticipate in the middle of the
discuss this with them in an age
breakdown slows everyone down,
-appropriate manner. Here are
even mom and dad, from overre-
3 discipline rules for your kids to participate in.
acting. The key is talking to them before a fit happens, not in the
middle of one. When a fit begins, we make our kids say the rule
1. Connected Consequences
out loud: “We do not throw fits to get what we want.” They partic-
ipate in defusing the situation.
If your son gets in trouble while playing his Xbox, make sure the
consequence is connected to the crime. It’s not helpful if you dis-
cipline him for a broken Xbox rule by making him scrub the toilets 3. Contracts and Agreements
(not a bad punishment, just not connected). Connecting the conse-
quence means he loses Xbox privileges for a set amount of time. On iMOM, you can find cell phone contracts or social media con-
Sit down together with your kids and let them participate in estab- tracts to use with your kids. Like any contract, go over each line
lishing rules and consequences connected to different areas of ten- along with consequences if rules are broken. If both parties agree,
sion in your home. This conversation should be about “if/then” you both sign it. Rules are clear and agreed upon. If the contract is
statements. “If” you do _______, “then” this is the consequence. for cell phones, frame the contract, and put it near the family
Keep track of these and the next time your kids break the rules, charging station. While this may be overkill, it is teaching them a
they’ll already know the consequences. This also releases you life skill and letting them feel the pain when rules are broken.
from the stress of having to come up with a consequence on the
spot. Sound off: What are some ways you let your kids get involved in
making rules around the house?

80 “ኢትዮጵያ ለዘላለም ትኑር ” ድንቅ መጽሔት - ጥቅምት 2013