Page 11 - Winter 2013

Page 11:Layout 1 09/02/2014 09:34 Page 1

The 1992 team of course pressed the self-destruct button and basically treated subsequent 11
match weekends as “Piss ups” and the result was than a sizeable chunk of the team were
banned for the following season and nothing was ever the same for me after that.
So, where does that leave us in England today? Should we compete better and win more?
With our number of players and preparation, of course we should and no-one appears to be trying
to answer the question - Why not! Some players of course have got excuses but they are simply
not good enough to compete at the moment. If they were we would have won more than one event
in twelve, so pick the bones out of that!
Firstly, I would ensure that when at home we should play fast mats on wooden floors and
not carpet on carpet as we have done for quite a while. Venues like Potters are brilliant but we
need to lay a floor above the carpet to improve mat speed. Secondly (to me), the so called “Eng-
land Trials are a complete and utter waste of time. I also think the ESMBA should stop trying to
over control the manager and leave it up to them.
In turn the Manager should cast his selection net more broadly over the country. When I did
the job I had a few (a very few) people I could talk to around the country to see who was “showing
out” in various areas but I must confess finding knowledgeable and especially trustworthy people
are hard to find but the self-opinionated are not.
All this of course is what we can do at home. We really have to take a look at our players,
some of whom seem to think they have had good games but they are just being defensive and
kidding themselves BUT the same of course happens at all levels and I have been watching and
listening to it for 30 years on the Short Mats and for 45 years on the Crown Green. The basic
lesson is that if you bury your head in the sand you will just get kicked up the rear end AND YOU
WILL LEARN NOTHING!
For me, I would ask the Manager to form a SMALL sensible subcommittee of players (who’s
judgement can be wholly trusted to be honest). to meet and discuss what we do to change the sit-
uation. Other sports have done this most notably in Cricket by the English and the Australians.
We should do the same with players who don’t kid themselves and for me excludes anyone from
officialdom, it should be a players forum with the knowledgeable and with constructive comment
but I sadly know what will happen and the ESMBA committee will demand their place or places as
they seem to want their fingers in every pie!.
Indeed I have done a complete turnaround on the subject and I don’t think committee mem-
bers should be selected as it puts the team manager in a difficult position as these are the people
who appoint or re-appoint him/her.
So my advice would be to do it unofficially to avoid the self-opinionated hangers on. Some
kind of solution must be sought or we will be forever the runners-up and second place is nowhere
in a dog eat dog world. Am I passionate about England winning? You bet your life I am! So please
don’t make me wait for another 19 years for a team title, as I will be daisy pushing by then!
To pinch and amend one Irish correspondent, The Team event was as expected won by Ire-
land team who had plenty to spare in all three games, also taking the McDermott Bowl. The ex-
pected tussle with England did not materialise and indeed the England squad had perhaps their
most disappointing series for a long time with no titles to show.

A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a taxi. It was
raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings.
"Mum," said the boy, "What are all those women doing?" "They're
waiting for their husbands to get off work", she replied.
The taxi driver turns round and says, "Geez lady, why don't
you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with
men for money." The little boy's eyes got wide and he said,
"Is that true, Mum?"
His mother, glaring hard at the taxi driver, answers in the af-
firmative. After a few minutes, the kid asked, "Mum, what happens to their babies?" With a smirk
she said "Most of them become taxi drivers".