Page 155 - Taming Your Gremlin A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way (Rick Carson)_Neat

had a death grip on my psyche. Ah, I know her well: It was the old “I’ll feel
at peace again when, and only when, I straighten him/her/them/it out” myth.

I’ve experienced many variations on this theme, but usually it boils
down to the belief that my peace of mind depends on my being proclaimed

“right,” although I’ve also been known to hold out for being seen as
“righteous,” “the best ever,” and, in earlier days, “cool.” It’s a paradoxical
stance at best, since it results in my surrendering without a fight to the props
and players in my world total power over where I will be placed on the
pain/pleasure yardstick of existence.

It’s true that, like it or not, circumstances affect my moment-to-moment
level of contentment—and yours, too, I’ll bet. To be sure, I for one am a
devotee of the if you don’t like your circumstances, change them point of

view. But where enjoying this life is concerned, I’m into expediency. I’m an
addict, hooked on peace of mind, and an addict will stop at nothing. So
maybe, just maybe, I could feel good even if this scum-suckin’, truck-
driving lowlife sped off into the future without seeing that, on this trail, on
this day, I was wearing the white hat and he was a slithering snake in the
grass.

Feeling good when your ego has been tweaked isn’t easy. On that
fateful Saturday I pulled it off (which makes for a dull ending to this tale, I
know, but we’re here to learn, not just to be entertained, right?). I let that
no-account truck driver drift to the background of my experience (so let
him drift into yours, please) and settled back into a relative state of calm
contentment. It was a small victory, I know. Nothing comparable to illness,
divorce, death of a loved one, or famine. But the game is essentially the
same.

The Supremes helped. No doubt about it. But not nearly so much as
some of the skills we have covered. From over three decades of intimate
involvement with individuals, families, and businesses in transition, I’ve
woven these skills into a deceptively simple, practical, step-by-step system
for staying calm and at least relatively content even in the midst of
upheaval. I call them the Basics of Pleasure. You’ve learned them and

earned them. Use them. All day, every day—especially after a blaring horn.
Here they are.