Page 11 - How to play life to your advantage -print

Our experiences of pain and suffering are there to point us in the direction of our

meaning and our purpose in life. The reason why something that happened hurts you

and not your sibling or your friend who was also present is because the thing that

happened has special meaning to you; it tells you something about your personality

that is important to you. It is a signpost towards something that is a gift that you have

that you can give to the world at large.

I think back to when I was growing up and I recall often my mother repeating the words

over and over that “we could never be like them” or “we could never have that”. I

recall fundamentally disagreeing with her and finding it very hurtful that she would

speak of our family or us as people as lesser than other people.

The reason being was that deep within myself I fundamentally had the belief that I

was no better or worse than anyone else. I fundamentally believed that I was valuable

and just as capable as the next person. So, when my mother said things like “we could

never be like them” or “we could never have that” or “we could never succeed” I felt

very hurt that she didn't value our family more and she didn't value me. I felt

disheartened by the trap those words placed, the imprisonment they entrapped my

mind with. I felt devalued by her comments.

What I've come to realise is that maybe my mother suffered from a lack of self-worth

in her life but her comments aren't a reflection of me and they aren't a criticism of

who she is a person. Instead what her words and my experience of that situation tells

me is that I fundamentally do not agree that I cannot succeed in my own life and also,

I would never allow myself to be devalued compared to another person within my

mind.

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