Page 12 - How to play life to your advantage -print

Now when I say that, the truth is I have allowed myself to be devalued compared to

other people in my life. In fact, I have done that a lot in my life because those were

the habits that I grew up with and the culture that I grew up in. And often as human

beings we are creatures of comfort and so we tend to seek out what feels familiar to

us even if it isn't the best experience for us to thrive as human beings in our lives.

In behaving in a way that would allow myself to be devalued compared to other people

as an adult, I was repeating the cycle of deep suffering again and again and again.

In fact, after I left my home I ended up in a relationship for close to a decade that

involved domestic abuse. I was repeating the cycle of a lack of self-worth in my life.

It’s funny actually because when I honestly reflect on the beginning of my abusive

relationship with my ex-husband I can clearly recall now that even though all the red

flags were waving and all the alarm bells and sirens were ringing during that period

when we were getting to know each other I would literally say to myself “I deserve

this”.

I would tell myself actively at that time that I didn't deserve any better. That this was

the right situation for me.

This was because I honestly believed at that time that that is what I deserved. That I

was somehow a lesser human being that therefore was required to accept a lesser

quality of life because that was the message that had been repeated to me again and

again and again in the childhood that I had grown up in.

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