Page 30 - Meeting with Children Manual

Section 3 P a ge | 28

Use the 8 areas of focus from the Child and Youth Concerns Scale as areas of
importance to children: Time, Physical Space, Emotional Space, Psychological Space,
Understanding of Parent Separation, Family Relationships, Peer Supports, and
Community Connections when structuring activities or questions. These are the areas
of concern for children and Youth.

PROVIDING CHILDREN INFORMATION: SKILL #4

“The Process”
At the beginning of meeting with children, it is important to provide
age appropriate information about the process. What is meant by “the
process”?

Children need to understand what is happening with their parents and what is
happening with them. How do they fit into the separation and divorce equation? What
is expected of them? What is expected of their parents? Who are you? What kind of
relationship will you have with them? How long will their involvement with you last?
Will you ever talk to them again after the first time?

CONSIDERATIONS:
 The very first 5 minutes of contact should occur with one parent or both parents
(depending on level of conflict). This is a very basic introduction that establishes
that each parent knows why the child/youth is meeting with you and that they
support your involvement. The child will also be told he/she shall have input as to
what you will say later to parents (see First Meeting with a Child for more detail)
 Provide the child/youth the opportunity to see where their parents meet; show
them the physical space. If you are in a different space provide a basic drawing of
what you know the space to look like. If you do not know, use a generic drawing
of 2 people meeting with a third person and flipchart. Sometimes parents meet
in two rooms and the helper (mediator or parenting coordinator) goes back and
forth between them
 Explain to the child that their parents are coming to meet with someone who will
help them to make plans for him/her. Give examples of the types of plans being
made, such as deciding on extracurricular activities, how much time he/she will
spend with each parent, and how vacations and birthdays work. The mediator will
also try to help his/her parents talk more, not fight and make sure he/she will get
all the things that he/she needs
 Let the child know that the mediator is going to help his/her mum and dad find a
new way to be a family now that his/her parents don’t live in the same house
anymore. Use images for younger children

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