Page 34 - How Changing Your Anger Can Help You Be a Better Parent book

The Symptoms of Unhealthy Thoughts Triggered by

Anger

Many times, when you become angry with your child your distorted thinking may cause you to
perceive what's happening in distorted ways.

In that angry moment you may believe that your child is deliberately making you angry, trying to
cause you pain, and should know a better way to behave.

These false beliefs may intensify your anger in the heat of an emotional moment.

Your initial trigger thoughts may also place false blame on your child, magnify or catastrophize
the situation or your child’s behavior, erroneously personalize the situation, or disguise your
feelings as facts.

You may even find yourself "shoulding" all over your child (you should’ve done it this way or you
should’ve reacted that way).

Your trigger thoughts will make you feel less safe as a parent. When you feel less safe you may
become defensive in both your nonverbal and verbal responses. You may find yourself towering
over your child, or crossing your arms over your chest, which may frighten or intimidate your child.

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