Page 22 - ALIVE CODE

DARE TO BE A.L.I.V.E. - DON’T BE A D.A.S.H.

Appropriate negative feelings (displeasure, sadness, regrets, sorrow)

Aare often related to a real loss or disappointment
Do not lead us to hurt people or destroy things
Do not make us feel helpless
Lead us to act better in the future
Mainly stem from preferring, instead of demanding, that unfortunate
events not occur in our lives

Inappropriate negative feelings (rages, depression, panic, self-doubting)

Seem out of proportion or exaggerated
Lead us to hurt people or destroy things
Make us feel helpless

Lead us to “give up”
Mainly stem from denuding, instead just of preferring, that unfortunate
events not occur in our lives

You are responsible for your own feelings. Don’t blame others for the past for
your feelings. No feelings are illegitimate or false, but some are more
appropriate than others, because they lead to better results and more long-
range enjoyment.

EXERCISE 4: WORKING ON TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS.
A. Describe a time when you have severely blamed ‘another person (or
institution, organization, etc.) for your feelings:

B. Describe what you could say to yourself differently about that situation
that would account for all the facts, but allow you to take responsibility for
your feelings without blaming other people or things for creating them:

ALIVE CODE
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