Page 45 - ALIVE CODE

DARE TO BE A.L.I.V.E. - DON’T BE A D.A.S.H.

If your behavior is either somewhat or very inappropriate, you can use ALIVE
CODE to change it. The rst step is admitting or “owning up to it” when it is
self-defeating. The second step is identifying the advantages of changing
the behavior and deciding what behavior would be more appropriate.

In this situation, a more appropriate self-helping behavior would be
(Example: Forcing myself to talk more slowly even though I feel anxious.”).

The advantages of changing my self-defeating behavior include (Example: Of
I talk more slowly on a job interview, I will give better answers, make a better
impression on the interviewer, and increase my chances of getting the job.).

Replacing your less desirable behavior with more desirable behavior is
helpful because (a) it reduces your self-defeating tendencies; lb) it
encourages you to change some of your irrational Beliefs (iBs). Thus, if you
stop drinking or smoking, you will tend to change your iBs, “I must drink
when I have the urge to do sol” and “I am so anxious that I can’t stop
smoking!” Changing your iBs leads you to a more enjoyable life.

You have identi ed the Activating Event or Adversity, and your self-

defeating feelings and behaviors about it. You have completed lesson 4.
Good work!

LESSON 4

FOCUSING ON YOUR BELIEFS

You have identi ed an unfortunate Activating Event (A) and explored your
disturbed feelings and behaviors, your Consequences (C). Now you will begin
to explore your thinking or self-talk (B).

As you learned earlier, what you say to yourself, think, or Believe about the
Adversities of your life is very important. REI holds that your feelings (C), to a
large extent, are in uenced by your thinking (B). Another way to say this is

that you largely feel the way you think. Your thinking doesn’t completely or
exclusively cause your feelings. But it importantly contributes to it.

ALIVE CODE
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