Page 50 - ALIVE CODE

DARE TO BE A.L.I.V.E. - DON’T BE A D.A.S.H.

You may have checked one or more of the above sentences that re ect your
self-labeling. In the box below, write out the main one. Try to identify exactly
what you are saying to yourself with regard to the Adversity you identi ed
earlier.

I think and make decisions - Therefore I am a ...

Consider the disadvantages of judging yourself this way.

The disadvantages of judging myself this way are (Example: “If I see myself as

worthless for failing, I will help myself keep failing.).

It is okay to feel sorry or disappointed about failing at an important task,
about separating from someone, or about not getting what you want or
getting what you don’t want.

Bad things do happen to people, and it is proper for you to feel appropriately
distressed. But you do not have to rate yourself as rotten or inadequate and
thereby make yourself feel depressed.

You may bene t from saying to yourself, “It’s okay to feel bad, but knock off
that other stuff. Don’t damn yourself as a person; and don’t put down other
people.”

No law requires you to put yourself or others down for poor performance or-
for any other reason. No matter what their or your behaviors, thoughts, or
feelings are, you do not HAVE to devaluate yourself or others. You have a
choice, and can ALWAYS accept yourself.

Of course, you may still feel appropriately sorry and distressed, but you don’t
have to make yourself terri ed or utterly miserable.

Labeling yourself negatively does not help you to do or feel better.
Eventually, you can replace self-labeling with clear ratings of your speci c
thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and results that you produce without beating
yourself into the ground.

ALIVE CODE
Page 49