Page 51 - ALIVE CODE

DARE TO BE A.L.I.V.E. - DON’T BE A D.A.S.H.

It is one thing to say-‘I don’t like my poor behavior’ and another to say “I
don’t like myself for behaving poorly.” You don’t always have to like your
behavior, but you can acknowledge its failings and still accept yourself.
Accept you, not it.

Being able to say what you like and don’t like about your situation, feelings,
thoughts, or behaviors without self-downing is a very important part of
being psychologically healthy.

How to Stop Labeling Yourself

Start Disputing or debating with yourself when you create irrational or self-
defeating Beliefs and rules. What can you begin to say to yourself about your
speci c situation, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors rather than using
inaccurate and destructive labels?

Think about the self-downing label(s) you identi ed in the previous step.
Consider what you can begin to say to yourself instead of using the label you
identi ed earlier.

I can begin to tell myself (Example: Yes, I failed this time and several times.
So I’m fallible. But that never proves that I am A FAILURE or that I am
WORTHLESS.).

Eventually, your self-defeating thinking becomes a habit. Fortunately, you
can change and learn better thinking habits and more adaptive attitudes.
You can learn to see and to change your inner meanings and self-talk, even
though you have habituated yourself to them and made them automatic.

But rst you need to become aware of what you are telling yourself. You may
have to “listen” very carefully to your thinking in order to become aware of
your self-talk and your inner philosophy.

Identify your defeating self-talk and the damning labels that you may put on

yourself or others. Dispute and replace those labels with speci c statements
about what you like or don’t like, and about what you want and don’t want.
Choose not to take the extra step and to down, or devaluate yourself or
others.

ALIVE CODE
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