Page 48 - ALIVE CODE

DARE TO BE A.L.I.V.E. - DON’T BE A D.A.S.H.

When the unfortunate Activating Event I listed above occurs and I think
rationally or self- helpingly about it, I would tend to feel and behave...
(Examples: Sorry and disappointed, but not horri ed. Determined to cope
with it and improve it if I can”)

If you think rationally and work hard to make your undesirable Activating
Experiences better, you may well experience more enjoyment. But this will
not prove anything about you as a person.

ALIVE CODE holds strongly that you never have to, nor can you really, prove
that you are “good” or “bad” but only that you behave “well” or “badly.” As
noted before, you cannot prove or disprove your human value, but you can
choose to think of yourself as an okay or acceptable person. Yes, you can
think this way just because you choose, because you decide to do so.

It is “good” to rate your performance because it helps you to judge where
you are in relationship to your goals, provides corrective feedback, and
encourages you to assume responsibility for your actions and to improve
these actions.

It is inef cient to rate or down yourself or others for doing poorly, for making
mistakes, and for being error-prone. First, everyone is error-prone and makes
many mistakes. Second, if you see you, your entire self, as “no good” how can
a someone like you correct your errors and do better? Third, you are an

ongoing process who may change your ways no matter how poorly you have
done up to now.

How can you stop labeling yoursel? Try the following ways.

Fully Accept Yourself

Personal labeling consists of downing or devaluing people, of rating their
human worth. It is natural and easy to down ourselves and others, but this
does not make it necessary or healthy.

You are a fallible and error-prone human being. You can admit and deplore
your errors but still fully accept yourself.

ALIVE CODE
Page 47