Page 53 - ALIVE CODE

DARE TO BE A.L.I.V.E. - DON’T BE A D.A.S.H.

Consider your own Activating Event and the demand statement(s) that you
may be making about it.

I MUST (Example: I MUST do well at every job interview.).

If you began to replace musts, shoulds, and oughts with preference
statements, using I WISH, WANT, DESIRE, or PREFER, then you will begin to
make yourself feel better. When you feel better, you will probably do better.

The difference between demand statements and preference statements

goes beyond uttering one word instead of the other. Ultimately, you will
bene t from convincing yourself that your desires

are not demands that the universe must carry out. Telling yourself that
things should be different won’t make them change. You may think you’ll
die if you don’t get some of the things you believe you need. But will you?
People will seldom heed your demands and commands even if they bother
to listen to you making them!

Practice changing demand statements to preference statements. Look at
the must statements you identi ed. Change them to preference
statements, beginning with “I want, prefer, desire, wish, etc.

Instead of DEMANDING, I WISH or PREFER (Example: I wish that I would do
well at all my job interviews).

Compare your preference and demand statements. Do you see that your
preference statements illustrate the kind of thinking that is likely to make
you less upset about unfortunate Activating Experiences? Your new
statements are clearer and convincing because they re ect preferences, not
demands.

At rst, practice identifying and disputing your self-demanding musts,
shoulds, and oughts every day and practice replacing them with more

rational preferences and wishes. Later, you may require less practice.

ALIVE CODE
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