Page 68 - Family Life Student Textbook

First, talk to God. Evaluate yourself. Ask yourself if you have the proper motivation for confronting your
mate? Do you have the right attitude? Is this the right timing to raise this issue? Are we in the right setting
to be able to resolve this conflict?

The Bible commands us to always speak the truth in love.

Ephesians 4:15 “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect
the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

1 Peter 3:8 “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be
compassionate and humble.”

The tone of our delivery and our response is just as important as
the content.

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a
harsh word stirs up anger.”

3) Resolving conflict requires forgiveness.
The Bible teaches that all Christians are responsible to God to
seek and grant forgiveness.

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you
may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Forgiveness, according to the Bible, includes several things.

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you.”

The offender needs to take the initiative in asking for forgiveness.

Matthew 5:23–24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember
that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of
the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Asking for forgiveness involves:
a) Acknowledging and admitting, “I am wrong.” “I did/said _______, and I was wrong.”
b) Expressing sorrow. “I am sorry for _________, and for causing you to feel ___________.”
c) Asking forgiveness. “Will you forgive me for ________?”

The person who was offended needs to grant forgiveness.

Mark 11:25–26 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive
them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

It might be helpful for us to understand what granting forgiveness is not. Granting forgiveness is not
suppression or pretending that something did not happen, or that it did not hurt.

Granting forgiveness is not conditional.
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