Page 71 - Family Life Student Textbook
P. 71

unit to make financial decisions both in order to improve marital unity and to make the best financial
               decisions.

               Because the wife is usually more involved with household matters which include the needs of the children,
               she often has a better understanding about the financial needs of the family. For a husband to ignore her
               needs and advice in financial matters is both unwise and extremely hurtful. A wise husband will invite and
               listen to his wife’s concerns and advice and attempt to make financial decisions together as much as
               possible. If, they cannot agree to come to a common decision, the husband’s God-given role empowers him
               to make the decision for the long-term benefit of his family. It does not allow him to use their finances to
               serve only his desires. The husband who is loving his wife unconditionally will do his very best to meet the
               needs she considers to be important.

               Couples should understand that both the husband and wife are working for the good of the family. While
               the husband may have the opportunity to work outside the home and earn more money, he must
               understand how necessary his wife’s work inside the home is to the overall success of the marriage and
               family. He must appreciate her work constantly so that she feels valued by him.  And she needs to see her
               husband continually demonstrate his respect for her financial advice. She can respect the occasional
               situation in which he makes the final decision differently than she would have made it as long as he has
               listened to and appreciated her advice and he is making the decision for the long-term good of the family.

               Another potential source of marital destruction is when the wife earns more financially than the husband.
               This can devastate the husband’s self esteem if he does not properly deal with the temptation to feel he is a
               less than adequate husband, which will cause him to withdraw from properly leading the family and loving
               his wife unconditionally. The wife will also be tempted to use her ability to earn more money than her
               husband to usurp authority in the marriage over her husband, and will thereby upset the delicate Biblical
               rolls of the marriage. A couple should count a wife’s ability to earn a good income as a blessing. But do not
               allow it to ruin your marital relationship. All income should be shared together as a marital unit. The amount
               of income earned by either husband or wife should not change how financial decisions are made together as
               a married couple.

               Normally, any and all money earned by either husband or wife should be deposited into one account over
               which both of them have unified control. It is advisable for both husband and wife to agree on a budgeted
               amount each can use on a monthly basis to spend on personal items. This will allow each of them to surprise
               the other one with special gifts and purchase the necessary things to be the best mate for the other person.
               For instance, the wife who has freedom to spend a budgeted amount on her clothing and other necessary
               items to help her look her very best for her husband will provide more joy to both of them. But the husband
               and wife who have separate accounts into which only their income is deposited will usually come to
               experience competitive and greedy attitudes. It is better to have a joint account and agree together how to
               spend all financial income.

               Of course, every married couple should agree to actively follow good Biblical financial habits. They should
               agree upon a monthly budget and stick to it. They should be saving some money for important future
               situations. They should be doing their very best to provide the needs of their family. Their budget should
               include giving to God, the church of Jesus Christ, and helping other people. Both husband and wife may feel
               cultural pressure to help their extended family members. But they should not allow this to become a
               division issue between them. They should agree on each instance of financial help. Neither of them should
               be secretly giving money to other family members. Rather they should evaluate the needs, give priority to
               the needs of their immediate family, and then decide together how to be generous to others.


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