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people. Listening in this way also strengthens us, informs us, and makes it
easier for others to hear us.

When you’re in the middle of a conflict, paying close attention to the other
person’s nonverbal signals may help you figure out what the other person is

really saying. Your ability to accurately read another person’s nonverbal
signals depends on your own emotional awareness. The more aware you
are of your own emotions, the easier it will be for you to pick up on the
wordless clues that reveal what others are feeling. A calm tone of voice, a
reassuring touch, or an interested or concerned facial expression can go a

long way toward relaxing a tense exchange.

Exercise 22: Identifying your preferred style of conflict resolution

Go to the following website and take the conflict resolution
questionnaire found there. It will also tabulate the result and give you
feedback on your conflict resolution style:

http://academic.engr.arizona.edu/vjohnson/ConflictManagementQues
tionnaire/ConflictManagementQuestionnaire.asp.

Stress

We all have different ways of responding to conflicts as a result of
differences in our behaviors, feelings, thoughts, and physical reactions.
Conflicts often trigger strong emotions. If you aren’t able to manage your
emotions in times of stress, you clearly won’t be able to resolve conflict
successfully. When you’re in control of your emotions, you can

communicate your needs without threatening, frightening, or punishing
others.

In the discussion about communication, it was pointed out how critical
effective communicating is for building and maintaining interpersonal
relationships. Stress interferes with the ability to communicate effectively
and thereby resolve conflict because it interferes with accurately reading
another person's nonverbal communication and hearing what someone is
really saying. In that context, conflict resolution is less about a technique

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