Page 163 - 4- Leading_from_Within
P. 163
Because conflicts involve perceived threats to our well-being and survival,
they stay with us until we face and resolve them. Interestingly, perceived
threats are often as strong as real threats, and, of course, these perceptions
are influenced by our life experiences, culture, values, and beliefs.
Figure 11 demonstrates the significant difference between taking a positive
approach to finding a mutually acceptable resolution of conflict (win/win)
and more typical approaches that often don’t lead to full acceptance of the
results (lose/lose, compromise, or win/lose).
Figure 11: CONFLICT RESOLUTION COMMUNICATION
STRATEGIES
WIN-WIN WIN-LOSE/LOSE-LOSE
Clarifying questions Statements, Accusations
Empathetic agreement & Arguing
disagreement
Directness Avoidance
Alternatives, solutions Complaints
Statement of fact Exaggeration
Historical reference Rigid adherence to the past
Logic Aggression
Affirming “Stonewalling”
Humor Sarcasm
Considered responses Hasty replies
Specific examples Generalizations, absolutes
(always, never)
David Kolzow 163
