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you need to understand what the other person sees as the problem.

Step Four: Brainstorm Possible Solutions

If everyone is going to feel satisfied with the resolution, it will help if
everyone has had a fair amount of input in generating solutions.
Brainstorm possible solutions, and be open to all ideas, including ones that
have never considered before. The aim should be the number of ideas
generated at this step, rather than the “quality” of those ideas.

It may be helpful to engage in such activities as writing down three behaviors

that you could change in order to reduce the conflict in a relationship, and
commit to following through on these changes for at least three months.
Another activity could be to make a list of five strengths that you seen in the
other person or persons, and then list five ways that improving this relationship
would benefit you.

Step Five: Evaluate the Alternatives

Once a number of ideas on how to solve the problem or conflict have been
put forth, each should then be analyzed, considering the pros and cons of
the remaining solutions. It is then recommended that the parties repeat

the process until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways
of handling the problem or conflict.

Step Six: Negotiate a Solution

By this stage, the conflict may be resolved: Both sides may better
understand the position of the other, and a mutually satisfactory solution
may be clear to all.

However you may also have uncovered real differences between your
positions. This is where a technique like win-win negotiation can be useful
to find a solution that, at least to some extent, satisfies everyone. This topic

will be covered in the next segment of this chapter.

It is important to recognize that conflicts continue to fester when ignored.

David Kolzow 162