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and give your points more strongly until, eventually, others agree with
you. You want to prove that you are right, and the most knowledgeable, as
does everyone else in the discussion. With everyone trying to win the
argument, it is difficult to make a decision. This leads to an opportunity for

someone to take charge and make a unilateral decision that doesn’t reflect
the wishes of anyone else.

Dialogue, on the other hand, is an exploration of ideas with the intent of
building shared meaning within the group or team. In a dialogue, no one
is trying to win. They are trying to learn and create. They suspend their
individual assumptions and explore everyone’s ideas and issues. During
dialogue everyone works together contributing towards the ideas, a

process that can work more smoothly with a skilled facilitator. Effective
dialogue begins by demonstrating a good understanding of the position
the facilitator wishes to influence and a “real” interest in hearing the ideas
and points of view of the other party. Dialogue requires a complete shift in
mindset from telling others what you think, to inquiring of them what they
think. 207

Dialogue rather than mere discussion is occurring when everyone in the

group or team is involved, and they are listening carefully. Generally,
dialogue is evidenced in the increased level of excitement going on, and the
willingness to explore ideas with one another. As a result, dialogue leads
to insights that wouldn’t be likely in mere conversation or individual
thought. It has been said that in dialogue people become observers of their own
thinking. They move from entrenched ideas to collective thinking, which
208
involves a suspension of many of the assumptions that are individually

held. Dialogue comes to a grinding halt when someone’s assumptions
color their thinking and they become entrenched in their points of view.
dig in their heels and say "this is the only way". Suspending one’s
assumptions is not easy, as often they are so deep seated that we don't even
know that they are assumptions! Instead, we take them for being the

truth. 209

207 http://www.hendersongroup.com/articles/tips-for-effective-dialogue-dialogue-vs-discussion.asp.
208 Peter M. Senge, The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of the Learning Organization, New York:
Currency Doubleday, 1990, p. 242.
209 http://EzineArticles.com/43241.

David Kolzow 221