Page 301 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Forty-Seven

She handed down a negligée to me. Her negligée! Of all the
things. Why the heck would she do that? Seriously! Is that not
weird?” I shake my head in disbelief and finish the last sip. “I
just do not get it.”
Judy allows me to rant and rail and wallow and wail for
the next four days. The woman is a saint and I finally feel my
nerves settling and my heart opening. And the wider it opens,
the heavier my tears fall. The initial shock has dissipated and
my immense love for my husband has returned.
“I love him so much,” I sob, trying to catch my breath and
my running nose. “I don’t want to, Judy, but I just can’t help it.”
I sob some more as the pain pours out.
She wraps her arms around me. I lean in accepting her
comfort. Her voice is soft and gentle. “Of course you do. I
know that.”
“I should hate him! After what he’s done to me - to his
family? I can’t even understand it myself, but the love I have,
it’s just not normal, not after what he’s put me through. I don’t
want to love him, Judy. I shouldn’t love him.” I take a deep
breath. “He doesn’t love me. He said those words. I won’t forget
them. Not ever!”
That memory and the realization of what it means slams
into me like a runaway truck. My heart shatters into a million
little pieces all over her living room floor. I am so grateful to be
in a safe space to cry, to wail, to be a complete hysterical mess.
After another long day of soothing herbal teas, glasses of
wine and deep conversation, I feel some of my energy returning.
This crazy stress has completely wiped me out. My faithful
friend is helping me to regain my sanity and find my level head.
Still, it comes as a complete shock when she calls out to me,
“Kelita, it’s Gord on the phone.”
My heart begins to race. I feel like I’m getting ready for

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