Page 302 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Reason To Sing

a first date. “Do you want to talk to him?” Judy has appeared
in the doorway, hand covering the phone’s receiver. “You don’t
have to, you know.”
I don’t even waste a beat. “No, I know, but I will.”
“Come take it in the bedroom.” Judy hands me the phone
and closes the door to give me some privacy. I sit on the edge
of the bed. For a second, I feel like a schoolgirl. I am bathed in
nervous energy as Gord and I exchange surface greetings. Then
I ask, “How is Keldon doing? Does he miss me?”
“Of course he does!” Gord replies emphatically, “but we’re
doing fine. We’ve been going to the park a lot. You know he
loves the swings. It’s hard to get him off them.”
His voice is gentle. Soothing. As if he is holding his breath.
Just hearing him confirms how much I still love him. All I
want is to keep speaking with him forever. But my gut reminds
me of the cold, stinging truth: he might not be mine for much
longer. I feel such a deep, overwhelming ache. I know he’s a
mess. I can hear it in his voice. My heart breaks for him and
the pain he must be feeling. I give my head a shake. Isn’t it just
like me to want to comfort the person who hurt me. I used to
be like that with Hudson.
“You know, I hate all of this,” he whispers. “I have never
wanted to hurt you. You’ve got to believe me. I’ve detested all
the lying and hiding. Every part of it. And I’ve hated myself
too.”
I say nothing. I don’t know how to respond. The wounds are
so raw and open. He continues, “I care about you. I hope you
can believe that. I love you and Keldon.”
Excuse me? “That’s not what you told me a year ago.” How
could I ever forget those words!
“I know. I know.” He pauses but I refuse to fill the gap. I
want to hear his words with no prompting from me. “That was

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