Page 19 - Relationships101 A Guide To Building Healthy Relationships Final 1
P. 19

comments are rarely ill-intentioned. So, it is important to be patient with them as well, and
                       slowly yet assertively communicate our boundaries with them. (This is a trigger I was hoping to
                       raise awareness of in my family.)

                   2.  Our own pain. It's important to understand that whatever we are feeling, wherever we are
                       hurting, it is caused by a reality in our lives. We must not run away from these feelings but steer
                       away from the shame and completely own them. You are allowed to feel all the feels and take as
                       much time as you need, but you are also responsible for learning new ways to manage these
                       emotions. (Remember, your feelings matter. You should be able to voice them with those you
                       love.)


                   Just like we do not know what type of troubles or issues other people may be going through, others
                   might be completely unaware of our own struggles. So, let us have patience with these people who
                   we know care about us and are generally our support system — they are doing the best job they can
                   do. And if you feel they could be doing a better job, tell them in a loving and vulnerable way. -end-


                And that is what I tried for so long to do with my family. Tell them how I feel. This article nails it. It is
                extremely difficult to respond calmly when someone opens a conversation that is linked to an emotional
                trigger. And it is difficult for us to distance ourselves from our emotions and think clearly when this
                occurs. This is where the avoidance behavior creates the toxic energy that can be the beginning of the
                end of a relationship; if you are unaware of it and know that to resolve it, you must not ignore the
                behavior.  You must modify it if you want a healthy relationship.


                The article states the important thing about spotting and identifying your emotional triggers is that it can
                alert us about our own mental health and help us become more aware. When we are more aware, we can
                begin to take responsibility for the way we manage our emotions, as opposed to letting them control
                us. When we cannot manage or process our emotions appropriately, we end up simply reacting to
                others instead of responding.


                                        React vs. Respond: Understanding The Difference
                                    Updated on January 20, 2021 | Published on November 9, 2019
                                 Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD, Certified Psychiatrist

                       1. Reaction is emotion-driven, response is well-thought


               Unlike response, reaction is heavily driven by the emotions that you experience in the middle of the
               situation. We are not saying that response is an emotion-less action. Of course not! Just that response is
               the result of thorough evaluation, so when you respond, you can calmly keep aside all the emotion.
















                                                                 19
   14   15   16   17   18   19   20   21   22   23   24