Page 14 - Relationships101 A Guide To Building Healthy Relationships Final 1

Till this day, things have not changed. In fact, they are worse. But I am free of the baggage that dealing
with them used to bring me. I am fully aware of the covert tricks and tactics they used to lure me back in
all my life. I no longer respond in the same manner to them.

I made the decision to stop the insanity. I no longer participate in building a relationship with anyone
who is not open to interacting with me on a healthy level. No matter what their title in my life is. Life is
short and you only get to live it once. You absolutely cannot get anyone to heal an issue with when
they’re not ready to face themselves in the process. I spent my lifetime trying. It did not work.

Once you have done everything in your power to give people an invitation to join you in healing, there
is nothing more you can do. Hurt people hurt others when they are not open to the possibility that one
must be willing to accept responsibility for their behavior when discussing issues. To continue trying to
work things out with closed minded people will only lead to more pain when they are not open. It took
me years to accept that it is best at this point to focus on yourself, your goals, and your purpose instead.

I spent a lot of years trapped in a dysfunctional cycle, trying to show my family who I am. However,
they never cared about knowing me. From being willing to kick me in my stomach when I was 8
months pregnant to the multitude of things that were done, there are so many stories I could include in
this book, but I choose not to. What is more important is that you know the damage that engaging in
toxic behavior can cause.

Toxic energy is exchanged when people lash out and use avoidance tactics to justify behavior they are
not ready to take responsibility for. It is best to recognize and accept it when a person is not ready to
discuss issues with an open mind. Until they are ready, there is nothing you can do. Misery loves
company. If you keep trying to engage them, they will continue to allow you to and all you will get is
avoidance, denial, pain, and toxic behavior that will only keep you going through dysfunctional cycles
with them. They do not mind keeping you engaged in that way. Toxic energy does not feel good to the
toxic person unless it is shared. That is how it works.

Life is short. You only get to live it once. The sooner you start learning the fundamentals of healthy
relationships, the better the quality of your life can be. It all starts with you understanding the dynamics
of relating so you can determine if you and/or the person you are trying to relate to are healthy.

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