Page 15 - Relationships101 A Guide To Building Healthy Relationships Final 1

Chapter Three ~ Relations

Merriam Webster defines ‘relations’ as
1. An aspect or quality (such as resemblance) that connects two or more things or parts as being
or belonging or working together or as being the same kind.
2. The state of being mutually or reciprocally interested (as in social or commercial matters).

A relation is always two-sided or multi-sided. Relations involve being of the same kind and having
mutual interests. So, if I am wounded, I am going to seek out wounded people because that is who I
relate to subconsciously.

The root word of ‘relations’ is ‘relate’–which is something shared, felt, or shown by both sides.
Therefore, it is impossible to have healthy relations where one does not know who they are or is
wounded.

Knowing who you are, as it relates to relationship, your temperament, personality, character, morals,
values, principles, what you like, and what you do not like helps you identify with people who mirror
what you value. And avoid those who do not. Yes, even family.

In addition to seeking out wounded people when we are wounded; when we are unfamiliar with
ourselves, we approach relationships from a narrow lens, which causes us to miss the important boxes
that need to be checked off when choosing someone to relate to, that we would have taken the time to
check if we had a broad awareness of who we are, where we are in our lives and what we do and do not
want to do.

‘Relation’ is the root word of ‘relationship.’ It means “connection, correspondence,” also, “act of
telling,” from Anglo-French relacioun, Old-French relacion “report, connection” (14c.), from Latin
relationem (nominative relation) “a bringing back, restoring; a report, proposition.”

The basics, or “Relationships 101” if you will, involve active sharing of the things about yourself and
asking about the things you want to know about the other person(s). The purpose is to lay a firm
foundation for a relationship, to help you navigate through the challenges that relationships naturally
present.

A lack of preparedness or better yet, a lack of understanding regarding what preparation for a
relationship is needed is often what hinders people who are building a relationship. This relates to one’s
reasoning for wanting a relationship. Single people should understand the nature of being in a
relationship vs. being single. It is a different mindset. When you are single, you can choose to withdraw

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