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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 3 - Lesson 2 ב-א רמאמ - י ֶעי ֶב ְר ר ִר ִׁ

and I must feel attached to the person who did that goodness to me .א רמאמ
with the bonds of fondness and affection. We see in the behavior of
great people that a favor done once to them stays in their memory ת ַח ַנ ְבּ רוּבּ ִדּ
all of their lives, and each time they meet the giver of that favor they
again express their gratitude to him.
ל ַא" ]ב"ע 'ו פי ֶטּ ֶגּ[ ר ַמ ֱא ִנּ ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ - "ה ָר ֵת ְי ה ָמי ֵא לי ִטּ ַי אלֹ ְו"
As we said, the first thing is for the recipient to tangibly recognize
the totality of the good done to him. Chazal have said (in Gemara לי ֶטּ ַמּ ַה ל ָכּ ,ב ַר ר ַמ ָא ...ּתי ֵבּ ךְּת ְבּ ה ָר ֵתְי ה ָמי ֵא ם ָד ָא לי ֶטַּי
Yevamot 63a) Rebbe Yossi met Eliyahu HaNavi. He said to Eliyahu יוּלּ ֶגּ :תּר ֵב ֲע ֶלֹ ֶָ י ֵדי ֶל א ָבּ אוּה ,ּתי ֵבּ ךְּת ְבּ ה ָר ֵתְי ה ָמי ֵא
“It is written in the Torah – I will make a helper for him.” In what
way does a wife help her husband? Eliyahu answered Rebbe Yossi ֶ ֵר ָפ ְמּ ִֶ י" ֶֶ ַר ְבּ ם ֶָ פֵיּ ַע( "ת ָבּ ֶַ לוּלּ ֶח ְו םי ֶמ ָדּ ת ַכי ֶפ ְֶוּ תּי ָר ֲע
“A man brings home wheat – can he eat it raw! A man brings home ם ֶָ פ ָלּ ַה ְל פֵיּ ַע ְו ,ה ִלּ ֵא תּר ֵב ֲע ת ִֶלֹ ְֶ ֶבּ ל ֵֶ ָכּ ֶה ְל םי ֶלוּל ֲע ךְי ֵא
flax – can he wear raw flax? “We see how she enlightens him and
stands him up on his feet.” Rebbe Yossi merited to see Eliyahu .)א ָר ָמ ְגּ ַבּ
HaNavi (One does not happen to meet Eliyahu by chance on the
street!). If one merits to see Eliyahu then it must be that the reason ."ה ָר ֵתְי ה ָמי ֵא" ל ִֶ ךְ ִפ ִה ַה אוּה - "ת ַח ַנ ְבּ הּ ָמּ ִע וֹרוּבּ ִדּ ה ֶי ְה ִי ְו"
for it is so extremely important, meaning that the question he needs א ָה ה ָבּ ַר ר ַמ ָא" :]ם ֶָ פי ֶטּ ֶג ְבּ[ ר ָמ ֲא ַמּ ַה ךְ ֵֶ ְמ ִה ם ֶָ א ָתי ֶא ךְ ָכ ְו
to ask Eliyahu is extremely important and stands at the heights of
the world. Yet seemingly Rebbe Yossi asked Eliyahu a very simple ּתי ֵבּ ךְּת ְבּ ר ַמּל ם ָד ָא ךְי ֶר ָצ םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ה ֶָלֹ ְֶ ,פ ָנ ָבּ ַר י ֵר ְמ ָא ְדּ
question - In what way does a wife help her husband which any ,ר ֵנּ ַה ת ִא וּרי ֶל ְד ַה ,ם ִתּ ְב ַר ֵע ,ם ִתּ ְר ַשּׂ ֶע :ה ָכ ֵֶ ֲח ם ֶע ת ָבּ ֶַ ב ִר ִע
child could answer. For example, “My mother prepares all of the ."הּי ֵנּ ֶמ ????ּל ְבּ ַרי ֶל ְדּ י ֵכי ֵה י ֶכּ א ָתוּחי ֶנ ְבּ וּה ְני ֵר ְמי ֶמ ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ ְו
needs of our family,” and seemingly Eliyahu’s answer was also
very obvious “She prepares for her husband his meals and all of his א ָלּ ִא ,ר ֵתּי וי ָר ָב ְדּ םי ֶל ְבּ ַר ְת ֶמ לּר ת ַמ ָר ֲה ַבּ ִֶ ם ָד ָא בֶֹ ֲחַי ל ַא
clothing needs.”
ת ַמ ָר ֲה ]ז"י ,'ט ת ִל ִהֹר[ "םי ֶע ָמ ְֶ ֶנ ת ַח ַנ ְבּ םי ֶמ ָכ ֲח י ֵר ְב ֶדּ" :ךְ ִפ ִה ְל
One must explain that Rebbe Yossi’s question was – When the Torah .תוּד ְגּ ַנ ְת ֶה ת ִר ִרּע ְמ ר ַר לּר
designated a wife to be a helpmate to her husband with absolute
certainty the intent was addressing a concept that was spiritually 
lofty and exalted, as for example, she is helping him to achieve even
higher levels of spirituality in his service to Hashem. How does this
help materialize? .ב רמאמ

Eliyahu’s answer was – One must look at the help a wife provides ה ָיוּא ְר ָה ה ָע ָשּׁ ַבּ ה ָח ָכוֹתּ
to her husband in a correct perspective, and that the main part of
Eliyahu’s answer to Rebbe Yossi was said at the conclusion of his י ֶכּ ,ה ָכ ֵֶ ֲח ם ֶע ת ָבּ ֶַ ב ִר ִע ְבּ ר ַמּל ךְי ֶר ָצ ה ִלּ ֵא םי ֶר ָב ְדּ הָשׁלְֹשׁ
statement “Don’t we see – She enlightens him and stands him on
his feet.” Thus she helps to raise up his spirituality, and she literally ת ִרֹקּ ֶבּ ֶמ ל ַע ַבּ ַה ר ֵה ָזֶּי ם ָלוּא .ת ִר ִח ַא ה ָע ֶָ ְל פ ָתּח ְד ֶל ר ֶָ ְפ ִא י ֶא

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