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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 5 - Lesson 5 ה רמאמ - י ֶעי ֶב ְר ר ִר ִׁ

hand she does not want to give up on her own sense of self-worth. ל ָכּ ת ִא תּא ְר ֶל ר ַמּל ְכּ ,םֶי ַני ֵע ָה ת ִא הּ ָל ת ֵת ָל ךְי ֶר ָצ ,תיִשׁארֵ
Therefore, she is much more susceptible to being emotionally hurt
by her husband than by someone else. This is something we would ה ָנּכ ְנּ ַה ה ָכ ָר ֲע ַה ַה ם ֶע ּנ ֲע ַמ ְל תֶי ַבּ ַבּ ת ַח ַרּט ְו הֹ ָשּע אי ֶה ִשּׁ ה ַמ
not have anticipated, but because she is so emotionally tied to תּא ְר ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ ,תי ֶנ ֵֶ ְו .]לי ֵע ְל א ָבוּמּ ַה א"ע ס"כ תּמ ָבְי ְבּ וּהָיּ ֶל ֵא ר ַמ ֲא ַמ ְכּ[
him her emotions are much more fragile in regard to him than to
someone else. ם ִה ָל ת ִנ ִתּנ אי ֶה תוּבי ֶֶ ֲח ּזי ֵא - הּ ָלּ ִֶ ט ָבּ ַמ ְבּ םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה ת ִא
ּבּ ֶל ת ִא הּ ָל ת ֵת ָל ךְי ֶר ָצ ,תי ֶֶי ֶל ְֶוּ ,]ג"ס 'א ר ִר ִפ ְבּ לי ֵע ְל ר ָאֹב ְמ ַכּ[
These words are certainly directed to husbands to be very careful in
the honor they give their wives, as a wife’s emotional self-esteem .ה ֶָי ֶגּ ְר ַמ אי ֶה ִשּׁ ה ַמ ת ִא ֶי ֶגּ ְר ַה ְל ל ֵדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶה ְל -
must be nourished by her husband. She goes out of her home to
work to earn the money to support a large segment of the family’s ,ת ַלוּזּ ַה ת ִא םי ֶֶי ֶגּ ְר ַמּ ִֶ ה ִז ָבּ ר ַר א ֵטּ ַבּ ְת ֶמ ּני ֵא לֹע ְבּ אֵֹשוֹנ
expenses, and at times she has an important position outside of the
house. In this regard Chazal have cautioned the husband – A man ת ִא םי ֶֶי ֶגּ ְר ַמוּ ,פּכ ָנ פ ִפֹא ְבּ ּתּא "םי ֶאּר" ִֶ ה ָמּ ַכּ ד ַע א ָלּ ִא
must always be careful not to oppress his wife. םי ֶא ָבּ ִֶ י ֵדְי ל ַע ,ּלּ ֻע ת ִא וּנּ ִמּ ֶמ ל ֵר ָה ְל םי ֶל ְדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶמ - וי ָתֶּ ָגּ ְר ַה

ה ָבּ ַר תּמ ְֶ ֶבּ( ה ָנּכ ְנּ ַה ה ָרוּצּ ַבּ ד ִס ִח וי ָל ָע םי ֶעי ֶׁ ְֶ ַמוּ ּת ָר ְז ִע ְל

תאֹ ֵש ָל ם ִה ָל ר ַז ָע ְו ,א ָשּׂ ַמּ ַה ת ִא ם ִה ָל ר ֵשֶּׁי ְו ךְ ַל ָה ה ִֶֹמּ ִֶ א ָבוּמ
ה ָרּתּ ַבּ ר ַמ ֱא ִנ פ ֵכ ְו .הֹע ְר ַפ ְל ה ִז ָבּ ר ֵזּע וּלּ ֶא ְכּ הֹ ָש ָע ְו ,ּתּא
Chapter 5 - Lesson 5 .)י ֶר ְצ ֶמּ ַה דַיּ ֶמ י ֶר ְב ֶע ָה ֶי ֶא ָה ת ִא לי ֶצּ ֶה ִֶ

Her oppression is close. לֹע ָה ת ִא ד ַחַי הּ ָתּ ֶא ֶי ֶגּ ְרַי תי ֶֶא ֵר ִֶ הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ֶמ ה ָׁ ַצ ְמ הָשִּׁאָה
י ֶׁ ל ַע י ֵר ֲה ַו .םי ֶנ ָבּ ַה לוּדּ ֶג ְו תֶי ַבּ ַה תּדּב ֲע - ָהי ִל ָע ץ ֵבּר ָה
Rashi explains “Her oppression is close” as “When emotional ת ֵת ָל י ֵד ְכּ תֶי ַבּ ַה ֵמ תא ֵצּי אי ֶה י ֶכּ ,לוּפ ָכּ לֹע ָהי ִל ָע ץ ֵבּר בֹר
oppression occurs punishment quickly follows.” The Gemara
illustrates this in Masechet Ketubot (62b) “Rav Rachumi was אּבָיּ ִֶ וּנּ ִמּ ֶמ ה ָׁ ַצ ְמ ף ַא אי ֶה םי ֶמ ָע ְפוּ .ה ָס ָנ ְר ַׁ ַבּ הּ ָר ְל ִח ת ִא
learning with Rava in the city of Mechuzah. He would routinely .םי ֶבּט םי ֶמָי ְו תּת ָבּ ֶַ י ֵב ְר ַע ְבּ פּג ְכּ ,ץ ַח ַל י ֵנּ ַמ ְז ֶבּ הּ ָת ָר ְז ִע ְל
return home every Erev Yom Kippur. Once it happened that their
learning session went overtime and he was late returning home. His הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ִֶ ה ִאּר אי ֶה ִֶ ְכּ ,תֶי ַבּ ַה לֹע ת ִא תאֹ ֵש ָל ר ֵתּי ה ִֶ ָר הָשִּׁאָל
wife was waiting longingly for him. Whenever she heard footsteps
she thought “Now he has arrived, now he has come home,” but he ם ָני ֵא ָהיֹ ִש ֲע ַמ ל ָכ ְו תֶי ַבּ ַה תּדּב ֲע ַו ,הּ ֶָ ְפ ַנ ְל הּ ָתּא ב ֵזּע
did not come. She became emotionally overwhelmed and a tear
came from her eye. At that time he was sitting on a roof (meaning .י ֶד ָע ְל ֶבּ ַה הּ ָמוּח ְת ֶל ר ַר םי ֶכָיּ ֶַ ם ֵה וּלּ ֶא ְכּ ,ל ָל ְכּ ּתּא םי ֶנְי ְנ ַע ְמ
on a high place). The roof collapsed under him and he fell and died. ת ַח ַתּ ת ִצ ִבּר אי ֶה ִֶ ֵֶי ְו ,ר ֵתּי ְבּ ָהי ִל ָע די ֶבּ ְכ ַמ א ָשּׂ ַמּ ַה ה ִז פ ִפֹא ְבּ

The Gemara does not say that she cried, only that a tear came from her ד ַצּ ֶמ ד ַב ְל תוּנְי ְנ ַע ְת ֶה ַה ם ִצ ִע ,א ָסי ֶגּ ךְ ַדי ֶא ֵמ .םּל ֶָ ְו ס ַח הּ ָא ָשּׂ ַמ

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