Page 226 - It Ends with Us

sinc e he picked me up last ni ght , I feel like talking about it. My hea d

is resting agains t hi s sho ulder and my ha nd s are in my lap. I’m
fid get ing with the drawstring on the pant s tha t are way too big for me.
“Atlas?” I say, my voice barel y a whi sper. “I’m sorr y I got so ang ry at
you tha t ni ght at the res taurant . You were right . Deep down I knew
you were right , but I didn’t want to bel iev e it.” I lift my hea d and look
at hi m, cracking a pitiful smile. “You can say, ‘I told you so’ no w.”

His ey ebrows draw toget her, like my words someho w hu rt hi m.
“Lily, this is no t somet hi ng I want ed to be right about. I prayed ev er y
day tha t I was wrong about hi m.”
I winc e. I sho uldn’t ha ve said tha t to hi m. I kno w bet ter tha n to
thi nk Atlas would ev er thi nk somet hi ng like I told you so.
He squeez es my sho ulder and lea ns for ward, kissing the top of my
hea d. I close my ey es as I soak up the familiarity of hi m. His smel l, hi s

touch, hi s comfort. I’ve nev er und ers tood ho w someo ne can be so
rock solid, yet comforting . But tha t’s always ho w I’ve view ed hi m. Like
he could withs tand any thi ng , but someho w still feel s the wei ght tha t
ev er yone el se carri es .
I don’t like tha t I was nev er fully able to let go of hi m, no matter
ho w ha rd I tried. I thi nk about the fig ht with R yle over Atlas’s pho ne

nu mber. The fig ht about the magnet , the article, the thi ng s he rea d in
my journa l, the tattoo. None of tha t would ha ve ha ppened if I would
ha ve just let go of Atlas and thrown it all away. R yle wouldn’t ha ve ha d
any thi ng to be so upset with me about.
I pull my ha nd s up to my face after tha t tho ught , upset tha t there’ s
a part of me trying to blame R yle’s rea ction on my lack of closure with
Atlas.

The re’s no excuse. No ne.
Thi s is just ano ther wave I’m bei ng forced to ride on. A wave of
complet e and utter conf usion.
Atlas can feel the cha ng e in my composure. “You okay?”
I’m no t.
I’m no t okay, bec ause unt il this moment , I ha d no idea ho w hu rt I

still am tha t he nev er came back for me. If he’d ha ve just come back
for me like he promised , I would ha ve nev er ev en met R yle. And I
would ha ve nev er been in thi s situation.