Page 229 - It Ends with Us

He slowly makes hi s way to the count er. It’s the firs t time I’ve seen

hi m sinc e he was on top of me on our bed the other ni ght . My who le
body is immed iatel y taken back to tha t moment , and I’m eng ulfed in
the same lev el of em otions as I was in tha t moment . Both fea r and
ang er rush thro ugh me when he rea ches the count er.
He lifts hi s ha nd and places a set of key s on the count er in front of
me. My ey es fall to the key s.

“I’m lea ving for Eng land tonight ,” he says. “I’ll be gone for three
mont hs . I paid all the bills so you won’t ha ve to worr y about it whi le
I’m gone. ”
His voice is composed but I can see the vei ns in hi s nec k as they
prove his composure is taking all the ef fort he ha s. “You need time. ”
He swallows ha rd. “And I want to give tha t to you.” He grimaces and
pushes the key s to my apartment toward me. “Go back ho me, Lily. I

won’t be there. I promise. ”
He turns and beg ins walking toward the door. It occurs to me tha t
he didn’t ev en try to apologize. I’m no t ang ry about it. I und ers tand
it. He kno ws tha t an apology will nev er take back wha t he did. He
kno ws tha t the bes t thi ng for us right no w is sep aration.
He kno ws wha t a hu ge mistake he made . . . yet I still feel the need

to dig tha t kni fe in a little deep er.
“R yle. ”
He looks back at me and it’s as if he puts a shi el d up bet ween us.
He does n’t turn all the way around and he’s stiff as he waits for
wha tev er I’m about to say. He kno ws my words are going to hu rt hi m.
“You kno w wha t the worst part about thi s who le thi ng is?” I ask.
He doesn’t say any thi ng . He just stares at me, waiting for my

ans wer.
“All you ha d to do when you found my journa l was ask me for a
na ked truth. I would ha ve been ho nes t with you. But you didn’t. You
cho se to no t ask for my hel p and no w we’l l both ha ve to suffer the
cons eq uenc es of your actions for the res t of our lives .”
He grimaces with ev er y word. “Lily,” he says, turni ng toward me.

I ho ld up my ha nd to stop hi m from saying any thi ng el se. “Don’t.
You can lea ve no w. Have fun in Eng land .”
I can see the war waging inside of hi m. He kno ws he can’t get
any where with me in thi s moment , no matter ho w ha rd he want s to