Page 41 - Jewish News_may2021

COMMENTARY May 2021 41

A Jewish refugee and baseball Where are your manners?

By Rabbi Jonathan R. Katz, Community Chaplain FED
tually ended up breaking my heart by oarse language, insolence and as good manners. We read in the sourc-
moving away from Brooklyn, and I threatening behavior are be- es, “Derech eretz preceded the Torah we are
have never recovered my interest in the Ccoming increasingly common- by 26 generations.” (Leviticus Rabbah
game. I learned then, and often thereaf- place in American society. Whether 9:3)
ter, that the loyalty of fans means little road rage, acting out on the job, an- In other words, long before Sinai
to team owners who care only about grily raised voices at the dining room we were expected to deport ourselves
the bottom line. table or intimi- with decency and honor. In fact, we Enriching Jewish Hearts
Sigmund Tobias is a university profes- dation by tweet, later find the statement: “If there is no
sor who has retired in Sarasota and is we are less civil derech eretz, there can be no Torah.”
an occasional contributor to this pub- in the company (Pirke Avot 3:21)
lication. of strangers, col- Politeness isn’t so much taught as
leagues, friends caught. How we treat neighbors, el-
and family than ders, teachers, service providers, etc.,
in previous gen- is keenly noted by our children. When
erations. my beloved daughter was a young
Rabbi Jonathan R. Katz The notion of child, I recall closely observing every-
holding one’s tongue seems to be a thing I said and did in regard to others.
rather quaint throwback to a far by- Long before she entered kindergarten,
gone era. “Just do it” is the ruling man- she was already a discerning student our Federation strives to enrich Jewish hearts in our Sarasota-Manatee community —
tra nowadays, respect and courtesy be of human relations. The Talmud itself Yfrom life-changing trips to Israel for teens, community leaders, mothers and fathers,
damned. shares, “What a child says on the street, to opportunities for youth to develop their leadership skills with our Shapiro Teen
Feelings of powerlessness may be the parents said at home.” (Sukka 56b) Engagement Program (STEP), to being an integral voice for Jewish young adults on
the culprit in prompting many to exert Jews have long taken pride in their local campuses with Gulf Coast Hillel and to providing a connection to the larger Jewish
a semblance of domination by making capacity for savoir faire, knowing how community with our weekly eblast newsletters, monthly Jewish News, and yearly Shalom
a show of their disgust, criticism and to do things the right way. But I won- SRQ magazine.
disdain of others. der if this still holds true in the fashion
It’s been said that Jews are like 63
Perhaps a growing sense of entitle- it once did. I find a disturbing trend jfedsrq.org
ment born of both self-absorption and of disrespect, dismissiveness and pet- 941.371.4546
perceived inadequacy is a major cause. tiness within the Jewish community.
If one thinks the world should revolve Rather than the rule, menschlichkeit
around him or herself, it is self-evident seems more and more the exception. A
that everyone else should defer and seeming culture of kvetching has taken
get out of the way. As a consequence, over.
any disappointment, frustration or dis- Derech eretz preceded Torah be-
agreement is always someone else’s cause without it, Sinai could not have % %
fault. The blame game has become meaningfully taken place. If Torah is 63
quite popular since it removes the sug- Judaism’s DNA, then derech eretz is
gestion of personal responsibility. the protoplasm that made it possible.
Maybe perpetual aggrievement has Graciousness and manners are the
become a state of mind in the belief building blocks of character. This is
that the affronted wheel will eventu- why they need to be actively cultivated
ally be rewarded with some grease or in the home, on the ball field, at school
OF AMERICAN JEWS
because there has been no nurturing of and in the mall.
other more captivating and productive O F A ME RI C A N JE W S
avenues of self-pursuit. everybody else, only more so. Let this
Of course, legislating civility is refer to our humanity and generosity feel their communities are less safe than
virtually impossible. There is no law of spirit, not our peevishness. We have
against boorishness or fully partici- much more important things to do. they were a decade ago.*
pating in what prominent social critic Rabbi Jonathan R. Katz serves as the
Robert Hughes termed our “culture of Community Chaplain and Director of In partnership with Secure Community Network (SCN), we are
complaint.” the JFCS Jewish Healing Program. His dedicated to keeping our Jewish community safe. We provide:
In Hebrew, the well-known con- position is underwritten by The Jewish • Safety and Security Training
cept, derech eretz, literally means “way Federation of Sarasota-Manatee. • Information Sharing
of the land,” but is generally translated • Security Advice and Consultation

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Send an email to jewishnews18@gmail.com. JFEDSRQ.org/SRQSafe.
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Letters Policy click the red, “Click Here to Report an Incident” button.
Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words, must be typed,
and include the writer’s name, mailing address and phone number.
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length and content. *Anti-defamation League survey of American Jews & perceptions of antisemitism

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