Page 184 - Essentials of Human Communication

Conflict Management Strategies 163

Objectives self-Check
● Can you explain and give examples of how conflict can be negative or positive?
● Can you explain how conflict and conflict management may be influenced by culture and gender?
● Can you explain the varied conflict styles (competing, avoiding, compromising, accommodating,
and collaborating)?

Explore the Exercise
Conflict management Strategies “Analyzing a Conflict Episode”
at MyCommunicationLab
When managing conflict, you can choose from a variety of productive or unproductive strat-
egies, which we’ll investigate here. Realize that the strategies you choose will be influenced by
numerous factors. Understanding these factors may help you select more appropriate and
more effective conflict strategies (Koerner & Fitzpatrick, 2002).
● The goals (short-term and long-term) you wish to achieve. If you only want to salvage to-
day’s date, you may want to simply “give in” and ignore the difficulty. If you want to build
a long-term relationship, on the other hand, you may want to fully analyze the cause of
the problem and look for strategies that will enable both parties to win.
● Your emotional state. You’re unlikely to select the same strategies when you’re sad as when
you’re angry. You will tend to use different strategies if you’re seeking to apologize than if
you’re looking for revenge.
● Your cognitive assessment of the situation. For example, your attitudes and beliefs about
what is fair and equitable will influence your readiness to acknowledge the fairness in the
other person’s position. Your own assessment of who (if anyone) is the cause of the prob-
lem will also influence your conflict style. You may also assess the likely effects of various
possible strategies. For example, do you risk alienating your teenager if you use force?
● Your personality and communication competence. For example, if you’re shy and unassert-
ive, you may tend to avoid conflict rather than fight actively. If you’re extroverted and
have a strong desire to state your position, then you may be more likely to fight actively
and to argue forcefully.
● Your family history. If, for example, your parents argued aggressively about religious dif-
ferences, you might tend to be aggressive when your partner expresses different religious
beliefs. If you haven’t unlearned family conflict patterns, you’re likely to repeat them.
Before examining these various strategies, take the self-test on conflict management
strategies included here, and examine your own patterns of conflict management.

CommunICatInG ethICally

ethical listening

Because communication strategies also have an ethical dimension, it’s important to look at the ethical implica-
tions of conflict management strategies. Here are a few questions to consider as you reflect on the conflict
strategies discussed in this chapter:
● Does conflict avoidance have an ethical dimension? For example, is it unethical for one relationship
partner to refuse to discuss disagreements or to walk out of an argument? ethical Choice Point
● Can the use of physical force to influence another person ever be ethical? Can you identify a situation in Mary spent the night gambling
which it would be appropriate for someone with greater physical strength to overpower another per- (and losing a considerable amount
son to compel that person to accept his or her point of view? of money), but she knows that
revealing this will cause conflict and
● Are face-attacking strategies inherently unethical, or might it be appropriate to use them in certain situ- hurt her partner. Would it be ethical
ations? Can you identify such situations? for Mary to say she had to work late
● Is verbal aggressiveness necessarily unethical? to avoid the conflict and hurt?