Page 12 - September 2022

situation. This is one of the few basic laws the psyche is striving to be whole and
of the psyche which is, without exception, complete. In Modern Man in Search of a

one hundred percent foolproof. As a rule Soul, Jung says,
of thumb, when such an uncomfortable

situation occurs, when somebody really “...nothing is more unbearable than a
“gets under your skin” and you want to tepid harmony in personal relationships
know what “gets” you in the other person. brought about by withholding emotions.”

Say: “He is a dogmatic authoritarian
(as aggressive as a bulldozer, or an In the Tavistock lectures, he explains,

opinionated old bat…) and I can’t stand
that!” Then take out the “He is” and put in “You see there is perfect harmony here;
an “I am” or “My complex is like” and you but do not make the mistake of thinking

will have a description of the complex at that this harmony is a paradise, for
work.” these people will kick against each other

after awhile because they are just too
The theory of opposites is that whatever harmonious.”
characteristic or quality we are highly

identified with, the exact opposite is in If we are in a long-term, committed
our unconscious to the same degree. relationship with a partner or a friend,

When I was teaching workshops, I had they are going to notice things about us.
a woman say to me, “I think I am a very We will bump up against each other’s
loving person and I think the opposite of humanity. It’s inevitable, as no one can

that would be hateful. I think everyone go around for too long being totally
should be loving and caring.” What I said wonderful every single minute of every

to her was, “If you are being loving and day. As the saying goes, we all wake up
caring all the time, then you are stuffing on the wrong side of the bed sometimes.
a lot of your real feelings and hiding your We all say dumb things or make childish

true emotional reactions from people. mistakes. These are called faux pas.
No one can be authentic and be loving

and caring all the time and be true to If we are hurting ourselves by not
themselves. Stuff happens that wasn’t knowing something about our own
fair to you. What do you do with that?” behavior, we hope our close friends will

Many people get in relationships where say something to us. When we cut them
they will do exactly what their partner off from being honest with us, we are

wants all the time, thinking that this is shooting ourselves in the foot, because
how to keep the peace. It’s a false peace we need friends who care enough about
which will erupt sooner or later because us to be honest with us. This is a true

friend. Of course, it all greatly depends
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