Page 34 - TheWord#16

FAKE NEWS (OR IS IT?)
34 February 2017. POLITICS AND EVENTS www.thewordmedia.org.uk

aul Nuttall is from Albania
and went to Charterhouse
with Wayne Rooney’s cous-
Pin Keith.
Whilst there he played Isaac
Asimov at chess, losing in 5 moves.
As a waiter in the Bullingdon
club he attempted to piss in the
Soup, but missed. It was so foamy
that Heston Blumenthal won his
first Dunlop Star using it as a dress-
ing for Trout with jam.

Across the Antarctic species of
Elk, Reindeer and Eskimos are be-
ing harassed by feral GNU’s.
GNU is an acronym for German
Native Unwashed. Further proof
of the breakdown of international-
ism and the fall of establishments.
Bloody crusties, I mean its like the
sodding 80’s all over again. If we
still had a police force they should
kick these GNU’s shirtless. Oh hang
on its not in Britain, or is it? I’m off
to Anfield/Goodison or Tranmere,
depending on the bus I get on.
Vote UKIP you daft blerts!
P. Nutter.

I’ve just chinned my missus in
Hanley Aldi. She suggested we try
P. Nuttall the UKIP nobhead. Im-
agine the laugh we had in the Am-
bulance as the bottle of Peanut Oil
was being removed from my anus.
We are lifelong working class
Tories.......

Anna Soubry is sueing Waitrose
over their 3 bird roast recipe, which
she claims was her families secret
recipe. She told me personally that
it was uncanny the similarity and
in fact she stated that not thrash-
ing them to death whilst pissed up
barely affected the taste. Stoke Central constituency push- Council chiefs in Southend On
Oh and Stoke Central is a La- ing a leaflet through the door of an Sea have announced that three
bour shitstorm, even if they win elderly lady then urinating on the beaches on the seafront will run a
with an increased majority. wall of the house – and then, when trial this summer where ladies will
John Piennars. Nantwich. the resident comes out to remon- be asked to cover up while sun-
strate with him, trying to force his bathing.
It has just been revealed to our way into her house in what must these so-called ‘Modesty Beach
ace reporter, Scoop Taylor, that have been a terrifying assault. Areas’ will be set up to attract visi-
Paul Nuttall did indeed lose close tors from all over the UK who may
friends at Hillsborough. These The new USA government be uncomfortable with the sight
were the two witnesses that could department that deals with fake of ‘excessive bare female skin’ for
prove he was there. news is seeking jurisdiction over a number of either cultural or reli-
Tony Blair has been spotted worldwide media. This will in- gious reasons.
at the Baum pub in Rochdale clude all British newspapers and
talking with Simon Danczuk and TV stations. It is to be controlled by Russia was behind a false re-
Nigel Farage about the formation The Countries United News Topic port of a rape by German soldiers in
of a new political party that they Service. The decision of this bunch Lithuania that was intended to un-
hope will be both nationalist and will be final. dermine support for NATO’s new
socialist. Footballer Christiano Ronaldo eastern force, a senior NATO gener-
Tongues were wagging in the will be the first current top flight al said on Saturday, warning Europe
house of commons bar as Theresa player to come out as gay at the end to expect more such “fake news”.
May was overheard to declare rath- of the season. Our sources have re- Petr Pavel, who heads NATO’s
er loudly that she quite fancied Jer- vealed that the homophobia over military committee, said he also
emy Corbyn. Having interviewed this announcement was the real hoped to hold the first telephone
JC last week it did seem strange reason behind David Beckham’s call in more than two years with
that JC called her by her first name. not receiving a Knighthood. Russia’s military chiefs in coming
This might also account for Dianne weeks. There he will outline why
Abbot’s recent mood swings. The NHS has improved bril- NATO believes its biggest military
Shocking CCTV video footage liantly under the Tories with mira- build-up since the end of the Cold
has emerged of a UKIP leafleter in cle cures for everything. War is not a threat to the Kremlin.